


the nanny

by coffeeandcigarettesplease



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AA, Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Cute, Domestic, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluffy, Homelessness, Infidelity kind of, Masturbation, Modern AU, Musicians, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Recovery, Rehab, Single daddy ben, Vaginal Sex, baby au, band au, ben and Bazine are married but separated, ben has a baby, past Ben/bazine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2020-12-28 10:02:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21134900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeandcigarettesplease/pseuds/coffeeandcigarettesplease
Summary: Luke has a great plan to get the homeless girl he’s taken in out of his hair - his nephew needs a live-in nanny, and she needs a job. What could go wrong?In which single daddy rockstar Ben struggles not to fall in love with his nanny while dealing with the pressures of his manager and drama with his ex wife Bazine Netal.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please drop me any concrit or whatever at - https://curiouscat.me/coffeeandcigsok - just don’t be mean y’all!

  
“I found a job for you, kid.” 

Rey glanced up from where she was perched in front of the piano, notebook balanced on one toned thigh. Her long brown hair was tied back in three buns down the back of her head and her wide hazel eyes blinked at him in surprise. For three months, she’d been living on his sofa, eating his cereal, watching his television. And while Luke Skywalker adores the young girl, he knew it was time to send her back out into the world. 

“Really? A job? What kind? What do I need to wear? Do I have to interview, or is that all taken care of? I’m _ shit _at interviews,” Rey rambled, hopping up from the bench and bounding across the dark hardwood floor to stand in front of him. Luke gazed down at her, a mixture of annoyance and amusement in his twinkling blue eyes. 

Yes, he adored Rey. She was a fine young woman, talented, intelligent and _ talkative. _He hadn’t spoken so much in his entire life as he had in the time since she moved in. Some days it was like pulling teeth, getting more than a grunt out of him, but Rey never seemed to mind. She would fill up the silence with stories from her life, stories that she always framed in a humorous way but, Luke found, were often quite sad.

She had been surrendered at birth to the child protective services, born addicted to heroin. Somehow, as a newborn, she had made it through the terrible withdrawals only to be shuttled around the foster care system for the rest of her childhood. It was better when she was young, he gathered from her tales. The older she grew, the cuteness of being a toddler wore off and she became aware of her surroundings and the situation, the angrier she became. To hear Rey tell it, she was a little ball of rage, picking fights and scribbling down bad words in her secret journals. The older she got, the more she acted out. Stealing, sleeping around, sneaking out to go to parties. The usual teenage rebellion with extraordinarily different circumstances than most teenagers had to overcome. 

Now, at twenty four, she was still struggling to deal with the leftover issues of abandonment and distrust that still thrived inside of her. Luke smiled at her as Rey bounced on her toes before him. She was a lovely girl, medium height with long chestnut hair and lively hazel eyes that often sparkled with excitement. Her delicate features belied the harsh existence she had been living. 

Rey had come a long way since he met her, singing for change on a street corner in the brisk March wind. She had been homeless, surviving off the soup kitchen and the kindness of strangers. Her beautiful voice had given him pause. It was lovely and surprisingly deep for such a small girl, a rich quality that had perked his ears up like a dog and made him stop despite the freezing temperature on that spring morning. He listened to her song, something old he hadn’t heard in years. She sang as though she carried the weight of the world on her slender shoulders. Something about her made him pause, made him invite her for a cup of coffee to warm her stiff, frozen fingers. 

She had been hesitant, suspicious of him in a way that made his heart ache. Had so many people turned her this mistrusting? Had so many people hurt and disappointed her? He had taken her into Starbucks, ignoring the slight scent of unwashed body and dirty hair that wafted off her, grabbing two cups of coffee and offering her one. 

“If you think you’re going to take me to bed, you’re wrong,” Rey had said after cupping her hands around the paper cup and shuddering pleasantly at the warmth. “I don’t do that - but I can direct you to a few girls that will.”

“No, no. I’m not - that isn’t what I want,” Luke had assured her gruffly. He wondered idly how common of an occurrence it was for her to be so up front about it. “I just want to know your story.” 

So she had told him. She wasn’t looking for sympathy or pity - she was blunt, spilling only the facts, not her feelings about them. But it wasn’t hard to see the pain in her eyes, or the hard way she spat the words at him. When she finished, her eyebrows lifted as though to ask, _ are you satisfied? _

Luke had invited her to his home. He promised no funny business - he explained that he was a widower, but remained faithful to Mara’s spirit. Her face showed her curiosity on _ that _without having to speak a word, but it convinced her. She followed him home and then didn’t leave. Luke felt, deep in his bones, that there was something special about this girl. Something that he couldn’t ignore or forget. He just knew he would have been haunted by her voice and her story - and while it was a risk, she could rob him blind in the night and disappear never to be seen or heard from again… it was a risk he felt necessary to take.

But she hadn’t done any of that. She slept for fourteen hours straight, long enough for him to begin to grow worried as he peeked in through the cracked open door of the spare bedroom to check on her. The days that followed were tense and awkward and uncomfortable as they grew accustomed to each other. It hasn’t been a perfect transition, but eventually they found common ground with the piano. 

Luke had a beautiful black baby grand. It was the centerpiece of his living room. Sleek and shiny, it lurked in the room untouched but not gathering dust now that Rey was there. She took it upon herself to clean the ranch-style home from top to bottom, trying to “earn her keep,” as she said. He didn’t care what she did - he wasn’t going to force her to be his maid - but coming home to a shining house had been a nice change. After Mara… well, it was hard to stay on top of it all himself. 

One day, Luke has come home from a rehearsal at the conservatory to find Rey plunking our notes on the ivory keys. He grimaced as she tried to string the notes together and had called out, “Are you strangling a cat?” 

“_ No _,” she had said defensively. She had stolen her hand back quickly, blush coloring her freckled cheeks. She looked much better with a little meat on her, no longer skin and bones as she had been when they first met.

“I can teach you,” Luke had offered. She didn’t speak, just slid over on the bench to make room for him. That was how their friendship truly began. 

Presently, he gazed down into Rey’s inquisitive face. She was nearly vibrating with anticipation. “My nephew is looking for a live in nanny. Do you know anything about kids?”

Her brows pitched towards each other quizzically. “You have a _ nephew? _This is news to me. I’ve never seen a picture of him.” 

Like huffed impatiently. “Yes, I have a nephew. And a sister. But that’s not -“

“A sister? What is she like?” Rey needled. Her hazel eyes twinkled with amusement as she pressed him. Luke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. She was so easily distracted at times, a childlike wonder that was equal parts endearing and infuriating at times. 

“Do you, or do you not, know how to take care of a child?” Luke asked. Irritation colored his voice enough that Rey turned serious.

“I babysat all through high school. Never paid because it was for my foster siblings. But yes, I can take care of kids.” Rey smiled up at him. “Did you say _ live in _nanny?”

“Yes. My nephew has a four month old baby. He’s just gotten out of rehab and now his wife is going in for ninety days and he needs some help. Do you think you could do that?”

“Little babies are easy. They don’t talk back or move much yet, and they’re so sweet. Of course I can do that,” Rey said, folding her arms over her chest. Luke smiled. “Have you told him about me then? He’s willing to hire some strange girl you took in from off the streets?”

Luke ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck, ears heating red. “I might _ not _ have mentioned your… _ colorful _past.” 

“Luke,” Rey said in a warning tone. “What did you tell him?”

“That you were a student. One of my piano students. It’s not a lie!” he added defensively.

“It’s not the whole truth either,” Rey pointed out testily. “I’m not a very good liar.”

“You don’t have to lie. Just - maybe don’t mention being homeless. I don’t mind if you tell him you’ve been staying with me but maybe - maybe don’t mention how we met.” Luke shrugged and she fumed; he felt her ire. Rey was not stingy with her emotions, he had learned. She was very generous with ecstatic smiles and fiery glares. If anyone could keep his nephew in line, he suspected it was Rey.

Finally, after agitated toe tapping and an exasperated sigh, Rey muttered, “_ Fine. _ I won’t tell him about that. But did you say _ rehab _?”

“Yes. He’s got sixty-odd days clean from _ everything, _he’s a little grumpy right now. Your job is taking care of the baby and making sure Ben stays on the straight and narrow.”

“So I’m minding _ two _children, then?” Rey asked, rolling her eyes. 

“Yes. But the pay is outrageous considering you’ll be rooming there and eating out of his fridge.” Luke grinned. It was honestly the perfect fit for someone like Rey, who enjoyed lecturing him on the benefits of adding more protein to his leafy diet or switching to decaf. She was naturally maternal, he thought, and didn’t mind nagging _ him _so certainly that would transfer over to Ben no problem.

“_ Fine, _again. I’ll do it.” She sighed and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Anything to get rid of me, huh old man?” Her tone was playful but there was an insecurity in her eyes that softened him like melting butter. He slung an arm around her shoulders, half-hugging her into his side. 

“You’ll still be seeing me plenty, Rey,” Luke assures her. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Her smile in response could light up a room. It was the perfect plan, Luke thought. What could go wrong?

****

The house was a mess. Ben Solo woke early and tried to work on the dishes piled in the sink, but then he noticed the stack of pizza boxes piled up on the counter, the old cartons of rotting Chinese food, the stacks of unopened mail. So he filled the sink with soapy water to let the dishes soak and began to clear the mess from the long breakfast counter, which was unused for more than storage anymore. Ever since Hannalore had been born, it seemed like he couldn’t get anything done. The month away from her in rehab had been hell - he missed her every moment, the guilt of his actions weighing heavy on his broad shoulders. 

He took the trash out to the can, two hefty bags full, and returned to the dishes. Soon, the baby would be awake. Should he make a bottle now, or should he wait until she was fussing? He needed to sweep the floor and mop it too - and then do the bathroom. Maybe he should hire a cleaning person. It would certainly help ease the load. He definitely had enough money to afford it. 

He was, after all, Kylo Ren of the legendary rock group, Starkiller. There were platinum records hanging over his mantle to prove it. But in this house, he was just Ben Solo, father to a sweet baby girl, recovering alcoholic, and drowning in the mess. There weren’t enough hours in the day to contain the mess and take care of the baby and work on new songs for the upcoming album _ and _sleep. And sleeping was very important, he had learned the hard way. Staying up two days straight with anxiety and desperate for a drink, he had broken down and called his mother for help. 

Leia had loved the time with her precious granddaughter. But she was still active in her golden years, organizing charity galas for the homeless and running the soup kitchen downtown. She couldn’t drop everything whenever Ben needed her.

“Hire a nanny,” Leia suggested to him as she gathered her purse to leave. She’d let him sleep into the afternoon, crashing hard. “Go to your meetings, and for goodness’ sake, take a shower.” Her brown eyes twinkled as she cupped his stubbled cheek before kissing the baby one last time. 

He hadn’t wanted to need help. He wanted to do everything on his own. But if anything had stuck with Ben after the thirty days he spent in the rehabilitation facility, it was that reaching out was vital for maintaining sobriety. There were people that could help when he was struggling with his thirst for liquor, so why shouldn’t he reach out?

Admitting he was weak was no easy task for Ben Solo. Never had been. But for Hannalore, he found he would do anything. He looked online, but inviting a stranger into his home off the internet sounded like the opening to one of those true crime shows that Bazine loved to watch. _ She _ was another issue entirely. His _ wife. _

They’d split up again before she left for her own stint in rehab. The woman was nothing if not self-serving, and she claimed she wanted no pressure while they were separated. That she wanted only to focus on her recovery in sunny Miami at the luxurious facility. Ben didn’t care anymore. He was too worried about their daughter and maintaining his sober lifestyle to care much what his beautiful, dramatic wife did. They were like fire and kerosene, toxic, highly flammable. Something about her made it so hard to say _ no _. 

But this time, it had been all too easy to let her walk away. Ben had had _ enough _ . After she sold photos of Hannalore to the Coruscant Chronicle weeks after her birth, knowing Ben was in a social media dead zone without technology in rehab, it had been the last nail in the coffin of their dying relationship. It hadn’t always been so _ bad _\- before the baby, when they were hard partying booze hounds having fun, Bazine had been great. If anyone could party harder than Ben, it was Baz. 

But her pregnancy had changed him. He wanted to settle down, put the bottles down, start some roots and a quiet home life. Baz… well, Bazine wanted the glitz and glamour, the champagne and caviar dreams of a poor girl turned rich and famous. Her band wasn’t as successful as Starkiller, but respectable in their own right. Ben thought being with child would make her slow down, but having Hannalore only served to send her further down the rabbit hole.

Ben _ knew _things had to change. He took the proper steps, all the right avenues. He still dreamed of getting obliterated on vodka and cocaine, still craved that numbness, that euphoria. But Hannalore needed him and being a father overrode all those impulses. Bazine, well - she was trying, kind of. It never felt like she was serious, though. 

Ben directed his attention to caring for the baby and reading the alcoholic’s handbook. He forced himself to not even _ think _ about Bazine and what she might be getting up to - or who she might be doing anything with. Finding a nanny was the perfect distraction from _ her _.

Luke said he knew a nice young piano student that was looking for employment. Ben was wary to let anyone into his home - but another musician down on her luck seemed logical. They were kindred spirits, in a way. He was paying it forward, and if it didn’t work out - no hard feelings. He’d had Phasma, his assistant, draw up an NDA for the girl to sign just in case. Couldn’t have personal photos or information leaked to the greedy tabloids. 

Ben _ loathed _ those crappy paps and the “entertainment news” programs. They seemed to exist only to feed on whatever scraps of information and speculation they could come up with. Somehow, it was leaked that he had gone to rehab - just like those photos of him with the incriminating baggie of white powder falling out of his pocket. Ben didn’t know _ how _ but they seemed to know things about his life before _ Ben _did. 

Sighing, Ben worked to clean the kitchen until he heard Hannalore stirring in her crib. The crackling sound of the baby monitor grated on his ears and he quickly made up a formula bottle while she cooed softly. Upstairs, he changed her nappy in the overwhelmingly pink nursery before settling her in his lap. She greedily sucked at the warm bottle, her dark eyes studying her father curiously. He rocked her in the glider chair and hummed a quiet tune as she watched him.

The sun had risen. He glanced out the window into the fenced-in backyard and grimaced. He’d need to hire lawn care as well. He sighed, content for the moment to enjoy his baby, watching her stare up at him, hands going from tight fists to relaxed and open as her hunger was sated.

“I know, sweetling,” Ben said softly. “We have a lot to do today. Best to do it on a full belly.” He lifted her half way through the bottle to pat her back, getting a couple good burps out of her, before settling her to finish the rest. As she latched on and started to suckle, the doorbell chimed. Frowning, Ben stood and carried her across the hallway to the wide, tall window that looked over the front yard and driveway. Luke’s car - an old blue GTO - was parked behind his black Expedition. Sighing, Ben propped the bottle under his chin but still in her mouth and trudged down the stairs carefully to answer the door.

  
It swung open and he opened his mouth to greet his grizzled old uncle only to find a pretty brunette in jean shorts and a T-shirt smiling at him. Her big hazel eyes were framed by dark lashes and her delicate features were golden tan and speckled with ting freckles. The June sun was bright and warm glaring down on them, and she lifted a hand to shade her eyes as the other extended towards him.

“Hi!” she chirped. “I’m Rey. Luke sent me. I’m the new nanny.”

Had he not been holding the baby, Ben might have keeled over in shock. His stomach dropped as he shifted the baby and slid his hand over hers, tiny in comparison. 

“I’m Ben Solo,” he answered, and stepped back to let her in.


	2. Chapter 2

Rey could see just from the foyer that the man was drowning. Baby cradled and sucking down a bottle in his arms, Ben Solo stepped back and let her walk in. Her eyes dragged from his handsome face -  _ why  _ hadn’t Luke mentioned that the guy was gorgeous on top of everything else? - to the interior of his home. There was a pile of shoes by the door and a bright yellow diaper bag on a bench near the door. There were clothes strewn over the stairway leading up to the second floor and the white tile floor needed a good scrub. 

“Sorry about the mess, it’s been kind of … difficult,” Ben said. She could feel his self-consciousness rolling off in waves and quickly shook her head with an easy grin.

“I grew up in foster care. Believe me, this is nothing.” She sauntered into the spacious living room with a high ceiling and skylights letting in the summer sunlight. More tall windows overlooked the backyard with its high privacy fence and shaggy green grass. Opposite the windows was a large sectional couch, a low glass coffee table. A baby blanket - pink, so the child was  _ probably  _ a girl - was spread on the floor under a sturdily mounted flat screen and shelves of electronics. Empty baby bottles were randomly on the floor near a bouncy seat. It  _ was  _ messy, but she wasn’t lying - she had lived in far dirtier homes in her youth. At least the walls weren’t stained with nicotine and the carpets seemed clean.

“So, Luke tells me you’re having a hard time balancing everything,” Rey said, sitting on the edge of the sofa. Ben took the rocking recliner chair, the baby looking tiny in his massive arms. He was a big man, tall as well as broad, and thick with muscles. His hair was long for a man, brushing his shoulders in black waves that could use a good scrub as well. Rey blushed at her traitorous thoughts, shaking them off. She would clean his floors; he would certainly take care of himself.

“It’s just - I have no time for my meetings or work,” Ben said quickly. He didn’t want her to think he was lazy, or incapable, Rey realized. He probably hadn’t even wanted to ask for help. Typical man, she thought.

“I get it. Even without a kid, some days there just aren’t enough hours.” She smiled warmly and leaned forward to study the baby. “And who is this?”

“Hannalore Amidala Solo.” Rey notes how his chest puffed up with pride as he angled the baby for Rey to gaze at. She was a chubby thing with rosy cheeks and thick, fluffy black hair obviously inherited from her father. She was precious, and Rey found herself melting as the baby cooed and waved her fat little hands.

“She’s adorable,” Rey said. “Is she a good baby?”

“The best,” Ben confirmed, smiling down at the bundle. “All she does is eat and sleep and dirty her diapers. Hardly cries. Loves her tummy time.”

“Wonderful,” Rey said. “Luke told me you’re looking for someone to move in to help you care for her.”

“I’m a musician,” Ben replied. “Sometimes I work late and would be more comfortable with someone watching her here, and it would just - it’s just easier for me, you see.” Rey could sense his anxiety. He truly loved his child, she thought - he wanted someone here always to look after her, so he could be sure she was being treated well. Rey could respect that - she would be just as protective of her own offspring. Not that planned to have any, after her own disastrous childhood. 

“No, I’m - I think it’s good. I’m sure Luke will love getting me out of his house so he can watch NCIS in peace.” She chuckled. 

“You live with Luke?” Ben asked. She could tell her was surprised.

_ Crap, was I not supposed to say that too?  _ Rey frowned as she fumbled mentally for an excuse. “He’s um - he’s been helping me out of a tough spot. If not for him, I’d wind up on the streets.” She covered nervously with a high pitched giggle that was completely out of character. Ben didn’t know that, though - instead he looked torn between confusion and understanding.

“I didn’t know Luke was so generous,” he explained.

Rey smiled warmly. “He’s been so kind to me. Really, he went above and beyond. Setting me up with this job, even. I don’t know how to repay him.”

Ben looked more puzzled but eventually shrugged. A chime came from the kitchen and he sagged slightly. “That’ll be my assistant. Would you mind?” He lifted the baby and Rey eagerly held out her arms. He slipped Hannalore into her hands and Rey peered into the baby’s dark navy blue eyes as Ben jogged into the kitchen to answer his phone. “Hey, Phas. I’m sorta - in the middle of something…”

Rey grinned at the baby, who returned it with a gummy one of her own. She was delightful, Rey decided. She stood to place her on the blanket and slid a rattle into her hands. The baby cooed happily as she shook the baby toy.

“You’re a jolly little chunk, aren’t you?” Rey asked, tickling gently over her belly. Hannalore wore a pink onesie with  _ Daddy’s Girl  _ embroidered over the chest. She chortled as Rey spoke baby nonsense to her, laughing at the chubby rolls of flesh around her wrists and elbows. She was quite healthy, Rey thought with an approving nod. Fat babies were the best babies. 

“Yes, I’m working on the songs,” Ben said from the kitchen. “I’m interviewing a nanny right now so I’ll have more help and time to write. Tell him - please tell him to be a little more patient with me,” he plead. Rey tried not to eavesdrop but his voice was deep and carried through the big house. He must be very good at his job to afford the two story brick home in the suburbs of Detroit. She knew Kid Rock and Eminem owned homes in neighborhoods like this, so Ben must have been very successful. 

She picked Hannalore up to walk her around the room. The baby could nearly hold her head up all on her own but Rey still carefully cupped the back of her neck as she studied the framed photographs around the room, on the walls and the brick fireplace mantle. A clock ticked the minutes as Rey studied pictures of Hannalore - a pretty woman that had to be her mother, tall and thin with thick dark hair cut in bangs over her forehead - an older couple holding the baby. Hanging above the photos was a platinum album for a band called Starkiller. Vaguely, Rey recognized the name - she was a classic rock and 90’s alternative girl at heart, rarely listening to anything current on the radio. 

“Daddy must be a big fan,” Rey whispered to Hannalore. She smiled as the baby made a happy nose and smacked her warm hand against Rey’s cheek. When Rey turned around, she found Ben watching with his arms folded over the broad barrel of his chest. “Everything okay?” 

“Just my manager. He doesn’t have kids, doesn’t get what having a new baby is like. Tries to sic my assistant on me but Phasma  _ knows  _ how much I’m struggling. With Baz in rehab, I haven’t had anyone to share the load,” Ben said with a weary smile. In the lighting of the living room, Rey could see the dark circles under his deep-set, honey-brown eyes. He was likely exhausted. Rey could sympathize. Living on the street was hardly conducive for good sleep, and she felt spoiled by all that she had been getting in Luke’s spare room. “She seems to have taken to you.”

“Oh, she’s a sweet pea. I think we’ll get along quite well,” Rey said with a laugh as Hannalore reached time grab her thick brown hair. “I’ve watched plenty of babies before. My younger siblings. My foster parents always had me get up to make bottles and change diapers, I truly don’t mind doing it. And I know how to multitask with a baby too. I’ll have this place spic and span within a week,” she promised.

Ben looked like he didn’t quite believe her but still, he grinned. It was distracting in a way that Rey hadn’t felt in a very long time. He combed a hand through his messy black waves and sighed. “I gotta tell you, Rey. You seem too good to be true,” he said.

Rey blushed and ducked her head bashfully. Receiving compliments was foreign to her and she wasn’t very graceful about accepting them, but from Ben it made her body feel pleasantly warm. She would have to nip that in the bud, as falling for her employer wouldn’t do. Rey knew better than to defecate where she ate. She wasn’t some dumb young girl.

“I think this could work out well for us,” Rey said. “I’m totally down for it if you are.” She gazed at him expectantly, batting her lashes just the tiniest bit - she couldn’t help herself. Ben blinked back at her for a moment before catching himself with an enthusiastic nod.

“I think so too. We’ll give it a go, then.” He smiled, tinged with uncertainty, but Rey would prove to him it was the best decision he could have ever made. Shifting Hannalore to the crook of her arm, she extended her free hand so they could shake on it. 

She tried to ignore the tingle in her fingers when he grasped her hand. The attraction would wear off soon enough, she thought. 

****

Rey headed back to Luke’s to pick up her meager amount of clothing and personal items. She tried not to picture Ben’s handsome face the entire traffic-jammed drive back. Summertime meant construction season and orange barrels lined the shoulder of the three lane highway as she inches through the metro area back to where Luke’s house.

She was sad to leave. He was the first person to believe in her - maybe  _ ever.  _ She felt as though she still had so much to learn from him. But like all baby birds, it was time for Rey to leave the comfortable, familiar nest of his home. His gentle nudge was all she needed - she didn’t want to overstay her welcome, and he had done  _ so much  _ for her. Rey sighed feeling melancholy, as she finally pulled into his driveway.

There was an unfamiliar light blue Cadillac parked in Luke’s usual spot. Rey frowned, but gathered her worn brown leather purse with the fringe and climbed out, bumping the door shut with her hip. She crossed the yard and climbed up the porch steps, pushing the door open… only to be met by a tiny woman wearing a striking violet pantsuit. Her dark hair was woven on top of her head and shot through with silver, and her deeply lined, deep brown eyes narrowed at Rey.

“So this is the girl,” said the woman, hands balling into fists on her hips. For some reason, her heart began to race in her chest, and she felt the color drain from her face. She hated confrontation, especially with crazy geriatric women she didn’t know.

“Leia, you’re being  _ irrational- _ “

She rounded on Luke with a finger stabbing at his chest., face flushed with her fury. “ _ Never  _ call me that, you  _ know  _ better than to call me that!”

“What is going on?” Rey asked, blinking over the woman’s head at Luke as he put his palms up in surrender.

“ _ I  _ am Leia Organa. When Luke told me he was setting his  _ hussy  _ up to watch my granddaughter, I figured he had lost his mind. Hannalore is  _ not  _ some doll to be played with, and my  _ son-“ _

“Whoa, whoa. I’m not - I mean, Luke and I… no offense, of course, but  _ yuck. _ ” Rey winced as Luke grinned in good humor. “I’m not some  _ kept woman  _ or  _ whatever  _ you seem to have misunderstood about the situation.” Rey folded her arms over her chest and seethed silently, jaw clenched. “I am more than prepared to take care of Hannalore  _ and  _ Ben however they need me.”

Leia Organa seemed only to gain steam. “Ah-ha! So you admit it, you’re trying to sleep with him!” She wound round and stomped across the dark hardwood to wave her finger in Rey’s face. “You’re after his money, you think with Baz out of the picture you can make your move!”

“What  _ is  _ she on about?” Rey asked, gazing over her head to Luke who looked as baffled as she felt. 

“Honestly, I believe my sister has lost her mind.” 

“I’m a woman. I know when another woman is trying to snake her way in.” She scoffed and eyed Rey from head to toe. “Pretty girl, but my son wouldn’t throw his marriage away for -“

Rey held up her hands. “I don’t want your son. He’s attractive, but I don’t play where I’m paid, so this little -  _ rant  _ you’re on is unnecessary. I understand you’re trying to protect the ones you care about, but your anger is misplaced. I just need the job, lady,” Rey said. She watched the woman study her a moment longer, a gleam in her dark roast eyes, before she sagged slightly and sighed.

“I’m sorry. I am - as you’ve said - _ protective,  _ of my son and granddaughter.” She sighed softly and shook her head. “My mama bear instincts came out when Ben said my  _ brother  _ sent over a woman that was living with him.”

“It’s  _ really  _ not like that,” Luke said, grimacing slightly. “Rey… was in a tough spot. I was just trying to help her out.”

“I was homeless,” Rey said bluntly. Something like understanding smoothed the lines on Leia's graceful face. “Luke found me panhandling, he bought me a coffee and listened. It wasn’t - it wasn’t like  _ that. _ ” She blushed deeply at the implication. Maybe, when she was younger and more lost emotionally, she would have tried to repay his kindness with her body… but Rey still knew Luke was too good of a man to go through with that. 

“Oh, dear.” Leia cupped her forehead and frowned. “I’m so sorry, I - I wasn’t thinking. I just…” she trailed off, lost for the right words.

“Really, it’s okay,” Rey said, shaking her head. “I can’t say I wouldn’t jump to conclusions either.”

“You’re too gracious. Luke, would you put on some tea?” Leia asked. She crossed the room to collapse dramatically on the sofa, rubbing her eyes. “I’ve just had so much going on, and worrying about my son and Hannalore is at the top of the list. He’s struggling, you know.”

“I gathered as much.” Rey met Luke’s eyes, lifting her eyebrows quizzically, and he shrugged, offering her a wry grin. He headed into the kitchen to fix the tea.

“With going sober, and the baby, it’s a lot.” Leia smiles slightly as Rey took a seat in one of the chairs opposite the sofa. She felt scrutinized as the older woman looked her over from head to toe. “You’re not a drinker, are you?”

“No ma’am.” Rey shook her head.

“Good. The last thing Ben needs is temptation.” She scoffed. “He’s still so raw, feeling everything so strongly. He drank to hide from his feelings, you know. But he’s strong, he can do this. He just needs extra support.”

“I’m very anti-drugs and alcohol,” Rey said. 

“I want you to keep an eye on him. Make sure he’s staying on the straight and narrow path, as it were. You understand?”

Rey nodded. She was under the impression that no one said no to Leia. She had quite the dominating personality, but there was a softness in her tone as she spoke about her son. She loved him very much, obviously. Enough to threaten a random stranger, at least. Rey shifted awkwardly and tried to look strong under Leia’s keen eye.

“I’m glad. I think this will be splendid, if you’re as wonderful as my brother says,” Leia drawled. 

“I actually need to go pack up,” Rey said. “I start the job today.”

“Don’t let me keep you, dear. Go on.” Leia smiled and it transformed her entire face in a lovely way. Rey felt stunned as she excused herself to the small spare room. She dug out her old backpack and started loading it with her new clothing. How would she ever repay Luke for all that he had done for her? It felt like an impossible task.

She took a final look around the room before shouldering her bag. It was the beginning of a new chapter, and fear of the unknown swirled with excited anxiety inside of her. She flipped off the light on her way out. 


	3. Chapter 3

That first night went smoothly, Ben thought, aside from the _ tiny _ kitchen fire. Really, he had been watching the veggies in the wok but one thing (Hannalore gurgling happily while Rey blew raspberries into the rolls of her neck) lead to another (Rey exclaiming, “ _ Fire!” _in a panicked tone while scooping the baby out of her rocker and dashing into the living room) and he was suddenly fumbling for the fire extinguisher under the sink. When the smoke dissipated, leaving burnt blackened veggies in the big metal bowl, he’d given up and literally tossed the towel on the floor and called for pizza. 

They had a picnic around the coffee table while Hannalore grabbed at her fat little feet, staring up at the circling ceiling fan as though if were the most fascinating thing in the world. 

Ben couldn’t get the image of Rey whisking his daughter to safety out of his head. Bazine would probably have flapped around him, screeching, telling me he was doing everything wrong before shoving him out of the way to take care of it herself. There was something inexplicably attractive that Rey _ trusted _ him to protect them and put the fire out. There was also something to be said for the way she grabbed up the baby and took her away, _ already _so protective of his sweet girl. 

In that moment, he was sure he had made the right call in hiring her.

Plus, the girl could _ eat. _She was on her third slice of Hawaiian pizza while he lingered over his second. She wasn’t particularly graceful about it - grease shined in her cheeks and chin and she her tongue stuck out, chasing after a string of mozzarella hanging from the pizza slice. But it was nice, eating with someone that actually enjoyed food. 

Not that _ that _ was Baz’s fault, he didn’t _ blame _her for the eating disorder that left her too lean and bony. She would always be beautiful, but it was difficult to enjoy a meal when his partner was in distress over every calorie that entered her mouth. She wouldn’t even swallow, after… Ben shook his head to get rid of that thought. Thinking of Bazine and their intimacy issues on top of the food-related troubles was a cocktail of trouble. Instead, he focused on watching Rey, cheerfully devouring half the pizza as she chattered on.

“I met your mom today,” she said, interrupting his train of thought. “Talk about a mama bear.” 

Ben felt his eyes go wide as saucers. “Oh God,” he groaned, “what did she do?”

“_ Well, _ ” Rey drawled with amusement gleaming in her pretty hazel eyes, “she about bit my head off. Accused me of sleeping with Luke and trying to hop into _ your _ bed next.” Her trilling laughter puzzled him. Shouldn’t she be - offended, or angry? Bazine has ranted for _ hours _about her disrespect and “making assumptions about her character” the first time she met Leia. Instead, Rey simply chewed with a smirk that made him wonder about her sanity. 

He _ knew _ his mother. And Rey was _ laughing _?

She was something else. 

“I am _ so _sorry,” Ben breathed out, shaking his head. “She has a lot of issues with boundaries, and…”

“She was being protective. It was sweet, funny even, looking back,” Rey said. She shrugged. “I never had a mother looking out for me. I can appreciate her caring.”

Ben frowned. He couldn’t imagine a life without Leia trying to run it. Sure, they had rocky years when he was a teenager, but eventually things had gotten better… once the band made it big, and she realized that his singing was more than just a “little hobby.” He cleared his throat as she polished off her pizza and obnoxiously sucked the grease off her fingers. 

“I’m sorry. That must have been hard.” He wasn’t sure what more to say. A million questions clogged up hid throat but they all felt rude, too personal. 

“Foster care sucks,” was all she said. Wiping her hands on a napkin, she turned to Hannalore. “That’s why I think it’s so great your Daddy went to rehab. I think it’s _ wonderful.” _Even her baby-talk voice was adorable instead of graying like most people. Ben sighed inwardly and smiled as he watched her. 

“How much did they tell you?” he asked.

“Just that you went. You did some time and came home, now you need to go to meetings and stay away from people who drink.” Rey peered at him through her lashes. “I’m sorry - if you don’t want to talk about it, I totally understand. I didn’t mean to be nosy.”

“No, it’s fine. I don’t mind.” He leaned back against the couch and grabbed a napkin to wipe his fingers. “I’m an alcoholic. There’s no point in beating around the bush. I just - at first it started as a way to loosen up and fit in, you know? Everyone else was doing it in school. But when I took the first sip, when I first got drunk, it was like something changed in me.” He could still remember how it felt. That strange numb happiness. No longer caring what anyone thought, just doing what felt good. It was freeing. Until it wasn’t. “Once I got older, I just had all these feelings and disappointments and everything and I drank so that I wouldn’t feel them anymore. But I had all that crap _ because _of drinking.” 

“I’m sorry,” Rey said, sounding so sincere. She reached over and squeezed his arm gently. “I do think it’s great that you were brave enough to get help. It takes a lot to admit when there’s a problem.”

“It didn’t _ feel _ brave,” Ben muttered. He stared at her small hand on his thick forearm. She wasn’t small but in comparison to him she seemed tiny. “I was scared out of my mind and so guilty for leaving Hannalore.”

“But you came back,” Rey pointed out. “You didn’t leave her forever.” A shadow passed over her face, dimming the light in her eyes. She stroked a hand over his baby’s thick hair and hummed softly. “My mother left me at the hospital. She was a heroin addict and used all through her pregnancy. I was born dopesick. The paperwork in my file said I barely made it.”

His throat tightened as tears threatened to escape. What mother did that to a baby? An innocent life, brand new to the world, set up for failure right from the get go. It made his stomach and chest hurt with a heavy sadness he couldn’t quite define. 

“That’s - that’s awful, Rey. I’m sorry.”

She waved a dismissive hand. “I’m all right. Ima fighter. I made it through withdrawals and I made it out of the system and here I am. Look at me now, I’ve got a job and a roof over my head and a belly full of pizza.” She patted her flat stomach with a grin. “Things could be _ much _worse.”

Ben thought of his hard partying days. Before Bazine, when it was a different girl every night. When his nose would bleed from doing too many lines and his heart threatened to pound out of his chest. It was fun at first, until a couple years slid by and he couldn’t remember chunks of time, couldn’t remember when he went a day without using. He tried to stop but his hands shook and he felt sick, weak, without a bottle of vodka. Bazine tried to talk him out of it - even heavily pregnant with their baby, she insisted that Ben was fine, that neither of them had anything to worry about. It was their lifestyle, she claimed, it was part of being a rock star. But when thought of their daughter, he couldn’t combine the two lifestyles. It was either one or the other - and he chose Hannalore, and would choose her every time.

“They could,” Ben agreed, grinning at his daughter as she huffed and arched. “Someone is ready for a bottle.”

“I’ll grab it,” Rey offered, hopping up. She collected their plates and the pizza box and discarded napkins and hurried into the kitchen to make up a bottle. Ben scooped up his baby and grinned down at her, content for the first time in a very long while. Maybe having someone around to talk to would be good for both of them. 

****

That evening after Ben tucked Hannalore in, Rey surveyed the guest room that was now her own. White wooden bed frame with a plain headboard and matching dresser, a tiny closet with a mirror on the door, solitary window above the bed looking over the side yard. It wasn’t small - bigger than Luke’s - but felt less personal than his had been. Sighing to herself, she unpacked her small amount of clothes and placed them neatly in the dresser. Her clothing only took up two drawers.

She could fix that soon, Rey thought, after her first paycheck. It was a thrilling thought. She had never held a real job before. Never shopped for anything brand new, always thrift shops and Goodwill for her. But that would all change. Ben was paying her five dollars over minimum wage and she had no bills, not currently. Maybe she would get one of those fancy phones some day soon.

She grabbed a pair of pajamas and headed across the hall to the large guest bathroom. It was sea themed, blue and brown tile with green accents. A large claw-foot tub sat in one corner across from the toilet and a cabinet sink. Rey left the door open to better hear for Hannalore if she woke. She grabbed a fluffy towel off the neatly folded stack on the counter and started the water.

What a nice day it had been. Life changing. She was ready for a nice soak and then sleep. Peeling off her clothes, Rey dipped her toes into the water and the rest of her body soon followed. Heat enveloped her and relaxed her tense muscles. She wished for one of those fancy bath bombs, something that would make her skin smell good. But, it was nice enough without, Rey thought with a smile. She let her head loll back, shutting her eyes as she soaked. 

Until she heard a slight creak and her eyes snapped open, darting to the door. Ben stood there, slack jawed and glassy-eyed, staring down at her naked body under the clear bath water. Her nipples pebbles instantly, making her shiver despite the steam rising off the water. Rey’s grip slipped over the porcelain as she tried to sit up, water sloshing over the lip of the tub. It seemed to jog Ben’s mind. Made him realize it wasn’t very _ nice _to stand there gaping at her nude body. She trembled as he closed his mouth then opened it again. “So - Sorry, Rey.” He turned his back so everything was covered and Rey felt her cheeks turning deep crimson with her humiliation.

“You could - perhaps turn around,” she said weakly, knuckles turning white as they gripped the edge of the slick tub.

“Oh, right. Of course.” He spun - almost hesitantly - and Rey stood, quickly snatching her fluffy towel to wrap around her middle. Water streamed down her naked body and the noise seemed deafening as she carefully stepped onto the bath mat. The air was cool against her damp skin and made her shiver as she asked, “Did you need something?”

“I’m terribly sorry to interrupt, Rey - I didn’t know you were up here… naked… in the bathtub,” he rushed to say. Rey went even redder, blushing to the roots of her chestnut hair. She stared at the wide set of his shoulders as he filled the doorway, both of them breathing and speaking quietly to not wake the slumbering baby. 

“It’s fine. What do you need?” she asked.

“Nothing, I - I forgot,” he said, and she could see the sheepish sag of shoulders. She bit back a grin. At least it was nice to know that _ someone _could be distracted by her thin, boyish body. “Sorry. I’m just going down to the basement to work on some songs. I’ll - leave you to it.”

“Oh, all right. I’m turning in,” Rey replied. She adjusted the towel and tapped his shoulder. Ben turned and slowly faced her, Redon the cheeks as well. “I wanted to thank you, for taking a chance on me and giving me this opportunity on your uncle’s good word. I know you didn’t have to but truly, I appreciate it,” she said. 

“Just don’t let me down,” Ben said, not unkindly but blunt. Rey could work with - and appreciate - a bit of bluntness. Smiling, she nodded.

“I won’t. I promise. And I _ always _keep my promises,” she warned, wagging a finger at him. Ben grinned and nodded. She tried to ignore the switch in her hips as she walked past him to her new bedroom, shooting him a look over her shoulder before shutting the door. His eyes were trained on her until the very last moment, and her heart thudded heavily in her chest as she leaned against the wooden door. 

_ Crap, this isn’t supposed to be happening, _Rey thought of the nervous butterflies fluttering around in her chest and tummy. But there was no denying it - the attraction she felt was mutual. 


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Ben woke with a start. The sun was pouring through his blinds and - his heart seized up - he couldn’t hear Hannalore’s bleating, hungry cry through the monitor. Frantic, he peeled out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen. The scent of frying bacon hit him before the sight of Rey, standing at the sink with his baby lashed to her chest in a secure sling. She grinned brightly at him at his heart rate began to slow.

“Morning!” 

“What -  _ how _ ?” He didn’t even know where to begin. One hand lifted to comb through his messy dark hair as he stared at Rey and his baby. 

“Hannalore woke me up around six, but I grabbed her before she really started fussing. I figured we’d let you sleep. It’s probably been a while, huh?” Rey smiled and Ben realized she hadn’t been lying about getting his house under control. The counters gleamed and the trash was emptied. The dishes were being loaded into the washer  _ and  _ she was cooking breakfast. All with the baby on her chest.

“Where did you find that thing?” It was the first question that popped in his mind. 

“Oh? Hanging in the nursery closet. The directions were right there attached to the package.” She swayed her hips slightly as Hannalore started to stir. “You weren’t kidding. She really is a sweet baby.” 

Ben was speechless. How had she come in and done  _ everything  _ that seemed to escape him? He glanced around the shining kitchen with a slack jaw and disbelieving eyes. It was  _ unreal.  _ How long has he barely been treading water when this marvelous woman could have been helping them? He cursed his own stubbornness as he grabbed a mug of coffee from the pot.

“I like to wake up early,” Rey said. “And she only got up for a bottle once before going back down.” Rey smiled and the room seemed to dim around her. Ben nodded and sipped his breath while staring at her over the rim of his cup. She was magic, he decided. There was no other  _ logical  _ excuse.

“Thank you for letting me sleep,” he finally said, grateful.

Rey beamed. “Anytime, Mr. Solo,” she said. He watched her flip the strips of meat and stir the scrambled eggs while one hand rubbed Hannalore’s little back. She looked comfortable, peeling out from the sling at him. Her gummy smile made his heart melt and he couldn’t resist.

“All right, hand her over,” he said. Rey laughed and nodded. She untied the sling and carefully unwound the baby until Ben could scoop her in his arms. Hannalore cooed, delighted, and reached for his hair. 

“I hope you’re hungry, I made enough to feed a small army.” She started to pile up a plate for him and, feeling somewhat useless, Ben grabbed a seat at the breakfast counter as he held Hannelore. He was so accustomed to doing everything - it felt weird to try and relax. He wanted to jump up and help but Rey was already sliding a plate in front of him, napkin and silverware beside it, with a flourish. “I’m not a bad cook, either. You can thank the foster parents for that one too.”

“Were you ever allowed to take it easy and be a kid?” he asked, feeling an ache of sadness in his gut for what her childhood must have been like. Rey paused, thoughtfully chewing her lip, then shrugged.

“If I was, I don’t really remember it,” she responded. Her casual attitude only made the ache worse. She  _ had  _ to feel something about how awful it was for her - and certainly, working day in and day out, doing the job of an adult when she was just a  _ child  _ \- it was probably not a pleasant feeling. But Rey just brushed the hair back from her face and started to hum softly as she continued cleaning up the kitchen. Ben couldn’t help but listen as he ate - surprisingly, her humming was on key and quite nice.

“Do you sing? On top of piano?” Ben asked.

“Oh, not well,” Rey said. It was adorable how quickly her face turned red. 

“No, I bet you have a nice voice,” he said with a smile. “Sing something.”

“Oh, I can’t. You’re like,  _ in  _ the business, it would only embarrass us both.” She giggled nervously with a brittle smile. He noticed that she did that a lot - using that giggle to hide how she really felt. He took a bite of bacon and nearly groaned at how perfect it was, but tucked the thought away for further analysis. For some reason, and maybe he could chalk it up to simply wanting to know the woman he was trusting to care for his child, he found that he wanted to know everything that he could about her. The good, the bad. Everything in between. His fixation was just taking root. He studied her as she moved easily around his kitchen, as though she had always been there. Her long legs in short-shorts and a loose T-shirt hanging off her slender shoulders, hair pulled back into three buns at the back of her head. And of course, he knew what was underneath - Ben didn’t think he’d get the image of her perky pink nipples out of his head anytime soon.

The reminder makes his ears go hot, ad Ben quits his ogling to stare at his daughter. She gazed up at him innocently. 

“What’s your plan for the day?” Rey asked.

“I need to get to a meeting. Maybe two,” Ben said. He liked them, they kept him on track. Reading the Big Book cover to cover wasn’t enough. He needed to talk about it, he needed to hear  _ others  _ talk about it. “I should also get some work done.”

“Sounds good. I thought I might start some laundry, if you want to gather your things up, before you go,” Rey added. Ben couldn’t help but blink at her in surprise. This was what having a nanny was like? Why the hell had he waited so long? Everything about her was perfect. From how she doted on the baby to how she cleaned his home, cooking breakfast and allowing him to sleep in. She wasn’t even starstruck, like most people when they encountered him. It was difficult to go to the grocery store or run through Starbucks without someone wanting a selfie or an autograph, and yet Rey acted like he was anyone else, a normal person.

It was all a little weird, in a too-good-to-be-true kind of way. He needed to have her sign the NDA, Ben realized, in case it was all an act. Truly, he wished that she wasn’t putting on a front. She seemed so genuine. 

“Don’t let me forget, I need you to fill out some paperwork today,” Ben said. “Employment stuff.” He glanced down at Hannalore as she gnawed on her hand with a smile.

“Oh, making it official!” Rey laughed. Her bright smile made his heart thump as she chewed a piece of bacon and leaned against the counter. The collar of her shirt gaped open and he could see right down it. With a gulp, he worked to drag his gaze anywhere else. It was hard to think when he could see the swell of her breasts. He finished his breakfast as Rey chattered about her plans for the day. When he moved to put his sink in the plate, Rey held up a hand.

“Why don’t you go shower? I’ll take Hannalore and get her a bottle for her mid-morning nap.” Rey was already crossing the sunny kitchen to grab a bottle out off of the drying rack. “ _ We  _ are getting on a schedule,” she said in a soft voice as she scooped Hannalore from his arms. 

Ben was bordering on feeling  _ useless  _ as she headed upstairs to the nursery with his daughter. But he  _ did  _ need a shower, so he followed her directive. Under the hot spray in his master bath, he wondered if it was always going to be like this.

He was so accustomed to taking care of Hannalore’s every need. It felt  _ wrong  _ to pass her off, but that was what Rey was getting paid for, wasn’t it? And she would have time off, too, where he would be back in command. Sighing, he let the hot spray wash over him and worked his body wash into a lather over his chest and arms. Below his waist, his cock twitched to life as his thoughts wandered - without his permission - to Rey last night in the bath.

She was long and lean and her skin had a golden quality to it. Her little breasts sat high on her chest and were tipped in pale pink nipples that were tight points. Her stomach was flat and soft leading to the dark hair between her thighs. God, how long had it been since he saw another woman live in the flesh? Other than Bazine, it had been ages. Ben grasped his cock and gave an experimental stroke. He groaned quietly at the pleasure that slid down his spine to his lower back. He pumped his fist over his aching length and thought of Rey in her tiny shorts with her long legs, her brilliant smile and long hair. It didn’t take long before the sensations overwhelmed him. With a hoarse cry, he came over his fist, thick ropes of seed spilling into the shower floor. His chest heaved and Ben bit his lip, flushed and tingling pleasantly everywhere.

How long had it been since he had a good wank without worrying the baby would interrupt? Ben finished his shower with an odd lingering guilt for jerking off, thinking of the nanny. When he stepped out, a soft singing from the baby monitor gave him pause. 

It was soft and gentle and surprisingly deep, a rich quality that sounded soulful as it sang an old Beatles tune. Ben stood stock still as he listened, wondering if Rey knew about the baby monitor or that he could listen in. “Blackbird singing in the dead of night… take these sunken eyes and learn to see,” she sang quietly. It sent goosebumps racing up his arms and neck. He listened until she finished, heard her moving Hannalore to the crib, and quickly found his clothes.

The girl could  _ sing.  _ He was never wrong about these things. Ben wondered if maybe that was part of why his uncle had connected them.

****

Rey felt that things were going well. After the first day, she settled into a happy routine. Hannalore was a doll and made everything a breeze - she was content to listen to classical music on her baby blanket, playing with a soft toy book, while Rey mopped the kitchen floor, periodically peeking in to check on her. The next day she worked on the bathroom, and getting all the laundry at least  _ sorted.  _ Ben worked in the basement on his music, though Rey never heard any evidence that he wasn’t down there catching up on sleep. She wouldn’t blame him - she knew how hard it was, the first few months. When the baby woke every hour of the night and would only sleep while being held. The blow out diapers and the snatches of bone-tired sleep between all of it. He deserved his rest, Rey thought. She was working hard to give it to him, plus cleaning the accumulated mess. 

Of course, some moments were more difficult than others. The only thing Hannalore seemed to dislike was bath time. It took both of them, hovering over her mesh sling in the tub, to soothe the screaming pink baby. Her little fists balled up and her sweet brow furrowed as the two adults hurried to get her clean. Both times they attempted to wash her, it turned into everyone crying.

But on the whole, Rey thought everything was working well. Leia brought Chinese takeout on Saturday night, an apology - and Rey suspected - to check up on them. Her dark eyes had scrutinized everything from the floors to the now cobweb free corners of the ceiling, and in the end she had complimented Rey on a job well done. They had enjoyed the dinner while Leia walked the happy baby around the living room, baby-talking the whole time. Ben had watched, a mixture of amusement and exasperation on his handsome face.

Rey tried not to notice how attractive he was - but after a shower and some clean clothes, it was even more undeniable. The man was a  _ hunk.  _ He was tall and strong, and cradling the baby made him absolutely heart melting. Her ovaries were sure to explode with how good it looked, how paternal he was. Ben adored his daughter and that love was very attractive. Rey pushes these thoughts firmly down, unwilling to do  _ anything  _ about her secret attraction. He was her boss. It was inappropriate. Not to mention, he was obviously a long way out of her league. 

The following week, things had become routine. Rey got home with Hannalore and fed her breakfast while Ben slept in. She cleaned up while the baby played on the living room floor with cartoons playing on a television she didn’t pay attention to. They would eat breakfast together and Ben would watch Hannalore while Rey grabbed a quick shower and dressed for the day. Then they would switch, and Ben would make his way to a ten thirty meeting. Sometimes, he would bring back lunch, and they would share the meal while Hannalore took her morning nap. The afternoons were spent doing tummy time and helping Hannalore as she tried to sit up. Rey would work on laundry until Hannalore went down for her second nap, and sometimes Rey would snooze on the couch while Ben worked on music in the basement. It was comfortable, this routine. Predictable. Rey has never felt so stable in her life, except for when she was living with Luke.

As if her thoughts could conjure him, there was a knock on the door. Rey peered through the peephole and grinned as she saw the grizzled older man. She swung the door open and beamed at him. “Luke! Come in!” She ran a hand through her loose chestnut hair and motioned for him to step inside. Just as he did, Hannalore gave a wail, wanting attention. “Just in time,” Rey laughed.

Luke followed her into the spotless living room and watched as she picked the baby up. Hannalore was trying more and more to sit up on her own, holding her neck up to peer at Luke curiously.

“Hello, dumpling,” Luke said, going soft as everyone seemed to do around the baby. “How are you? Where’s your daddy?”

“Downstairs, working,” Rey replied. 

“Good! That’s great news.” Luke smiled. “Everything seems to be working out with you guys, huh?”

“It is, I can’t thank you enough for recommending me,” Rey gushed. “Ben is great, Hannalore is a dream. It’s kind of the perfect situation.”

“I’m glad. I actually need to speak to Ben, though…” Luke’s smile turned regretful, but just then the basement door creaked open and Ben appeared. 

“I thought I heard the door, I just wanted to make sure no one was bothering Rey,” he explained as he sauntered into the living room. He held out his arms for Hannalore and grinned at Rey as she reached for him. “See? She still loves me.”

“I’ve been telling you that,” Rey replied, slightly exasperated. “She  _ tolerates  _ me as I feed her.” 

“No, she quite likes you. I can tell.” Ben’s brilliant smile made her slightly dazed, and she blinked dumbly at him as Luke glanced between the two of them with an expression of sudden understanding. His eyebrows lifted curiously as he watched them banter back and forth. 

“Ben, have you been online at all today?” Luke asked, cutting in.

Ben looked flummoxed. “No, not really. Why?”

“Someone got a picture of you leaving a meeting,” Luke said, producing an iPhone from his pocket. He pulled up the page and held it out to Ben. Curiously, Rey peeked over his arm - there he was in a cap and hoodie and sunglasses, looking as though he wee sneaking around. The picture was on a gossip site - one that even  _ she  _ knew of. 

“Why is someone taking pictures of Ben?” Rey wondered. He looked good, she could admit. But it was creepy. He was just living his life, why would a gossip site care?

“Because he’s one of the biggest rock stars in the country,” Luke grumbled under his breath. “They treat him like some exotic animal. I’m sure this picture went for a good chunk of change.”

“Wait,  _ what?  _ You never told me that!” Rey exclaimed, swatting Ben’s arm. 

“I figured you knew,” Ben said. He shifted Hannalore on his hip and gazed down at her, seeming embarrassed. “How do you think I can afford this house? What did you think I was doing in the basement?”

“Well, I knew you were making music,” Rey replied sheepishly. “What band are you in?”

Ben glanced pointedly towards the platinum records framed above his fireplace. Rey followed his line of vision and went bright pink with embarrassment of her own. Starkiller - he was in Starkiller, a band she  _ had  _ heard of. “So you aren’t just a big fan?”

Luke chuckled, amusement gleaming in his eyes. “You are such a treasure,” he said, patting her head. 

“Hey! Just because I’m not up to date on the latest  _ celebrity gossip  _ doesn’t make me lame. In fact, I’m sure Ben appreciates that I’m not obsessed with it,” Rey said, folding her arms defensively over her chest. 

Ben grinned. “Your obliviousness  _ is  _ endearing.”

“See? Endearing,” Rey said, poking her tongue out at Luke. Rey realized something with a frown. “Is that why you made me sign an NDA?” Did he really think she would feed the tabloids information about him or Hannalore?

“Just to protect us,” Ben replied quickly. “I don’t want Hannalore anywhere in the press. Bazine and I are very firm about that. We want her to have as normal of a childhood as possible.” 

Rey could understand that - yet it still stung that he didn’t trust her. She forced a tight smile on her face and nodded her understanding. “I get it. You know I would never do anything to hurt either of you. I would never go against your wishes, either.” 

“I know,” Ben reassured her. “It’s just a legal precaution, trust me.”

“He made me sign one,” Luke grunted. “Ridiculous.”

That made her feel the tiniest bit better. Rey nodded. It was a lot to think about. She was still struggling to wrap her head around the fact that Ben was  _ famous.  _ He must be filthy rich to afford this house and her salary without blinking. She wondered what his studio was like in the basement. It could be fun to experiment and hear herself back. But she wouldn’t bother Ben with that - he was a  _ rock star.  _ People probably tried to give him their mixtapes that were far more talented than she. Rey shook the thought off and forced a nervous giggle out. 

“Well, I suppose I can’t be too bothered by it. Luke, won’t you stay for dinner? I was going to throw on some steaks…” she trailed off and the men both unconsciously licked their lips at the prospect of food. Pleased, Rey nodded and headed into the kitchen to get things prepared. A nice meal would surely make them all feel more at ease.


	5. Chapter 5

He woke a few nights later to Rey shaking his arm frantically. For a second, all Ben could do was blink at her. What was she doing in the darkness of his bedroom? But a pitiful wail answered before she could speak, and Ben quickly found the light switch that bathed them in a pale glow. Hannalore whined, throaty, and fat tears fell down her round cheeks.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her,” Rey whispered. It sounded like she was close to tears as well. “I think she needs to go to the doctor.” 

Instantly, his heart rate accelerated. Ben quickly grabbed some pants and pulled them on as Rey tried to soothe the baby. She was miserable, he could hear it in her sad little cry. He took her out of Rey’s arms and instantly felt how hot she was, sweating through her yellow pajamas. “I’ll drive,” Ben said. Together, they loaded the baby into her bucket car seat. Rey scooped up the diaper bag and shoved her feet into her sneakers. They probably looked crazed, rushing out the front door, but it didn’t matter. All Ben was thinking of was his baby, getting her better, figuring out what the problem was. 

The hospital was only a twenty minute drive but it felt like the longest twenty minutes of his entire life. The whole time, Rey was sitting in the back with Hannalore, trying to settle her.

“Sing her that song - Blackbird,” Ben suggested, knuckles white where they gripped the steering wheel. It was the middle of the night and traffic was sparse. He sped through the nearly empty streets towards the Detroit Metro Children’s Hospital. The streetlights strobed through the window as he flew by. Rey cleared her throat before crooning so softly that he almost couldn’t hear her. He wondered if she knew he had heard her singing to Hannalore before. She must have now, as she sang, “All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free…” Hannalore only cried  _ harder _ . Ben grimaced as he took the exit off the highway, cruising down towards the tall gray building of the hospital. 

He pulled right up to the front door. A valet waited to take their keys, and Ben all but hurled them at the poor kid as he raced past. He was careful not to jostle the already upset baby as they made it to the registration desk. The bright light was a sharp contrast to the darkness of the warm summer night outside. A bored woman with dreads and long red nails barely glanced up from her computer screen as the pair reached the desk. 

“Can I help you?” 

Hannalore wailed out again, arching up against the restraints of her car seat. That got the woman’s attention - she stood to peer into the seat and made a sympathetic face. 

“My baby is sick,” Ben said breathlessly. “She’s running a fever, we don’t know what is wrong with her.” 

“I’ll get you all set up. Just need some information first.” The woman went on to ask Hannalore’s name and birthdate and insurance information before they were sent back to a waiting room. It was a pale green with mounted televisions and a big salt water aquarium glowing in the corner. Ben supposed it was all meant to be tranquil to encourage peacefulness and serenity for those in pain or sick, but he couldn’t feel either of those things when his baby was so miserable. Rey sat and instantly started to unbuckle Hannalore’s seatbelt, pulling her into her arms and cuddling her close as Ben paced and tore his hands through his messy black waves.

“She’s going to be okay, Ben. We’re in the best place we can be,” Rey said, trying to calm him down. But it wasn’t okay - his hands shook with helplessness as he paced back and forth, back and forth. His chest felt tight, like he couldn’t draw in a deep enough breath. Honestly, how did people do it? Would he ever get used to the fear that parenthood brought along? 

For the first time in nearly four months, he wanted to drink. He wanted to drink  _ bad _ . Just to calm his swirling, racing thoughts. Just to settle down. But Hannalore needed him here and sober, not somewhere else shit faced.  _ This  _ was why he gave it up, he remembered as he flopped down into a chair beside Rey and his poorly baby.  _ This  _ was why - because he was needed. 

“I’ll take her,” Ben said, and Rey quickly handed her over. She gnawed her lip anxiously as she watched the pair of them. It felt as if she were just as anxious and frightened as he was. For some reason, the urge to hug her tight overwhelmed him - but he pushed it down, ignored it. It wasn’t the time, and he was supposed to be focused on the squirming, pitiful little babe in his arms.

“It’s going to be okay, Hannalore,” he said. “Don’t worry, sweet pea, we’ll get you taken care of.” 

A nurse brought them into a triage room where she had Ben strip the baby down to her diaper. They took her temperature rectally - making him cringe with secondhand uncomfortability - and attached a monitor to her big toe to measure her heart beat. The temperature astounded him - one hundred and one degrees, it seemed far too high for his little baby! But the nurse was calm as she cared for the baby, and Rey watched with wide hazel eyes, chewing her nails or her lips with worry. Ben reached to squeeze her hand, reassuring, and Rey clung to him as tears suddenly shimmered in her eyes.

“I suspect an ear infection,” said the redheaded nurse with a kind, sympathetic smile. “When it’s nothing obvious like a cold, it’s usually just an ear infection. They’re so painful for their little ears. We’ll get her a dose of tylenol to bring down her fever and help with the pain and the doctor will be in to see you shortly.” 

“Thank you,” Ben said softly. In one arm, he held Hannalore, and his other hand was laced with Rey’s. It felt  _ right _ , having her by his side in this moment of stress. 

“Could I hold her again?” Rey asked. Ben nodded, and Rey held her tight in her arms, walking her around the small room and humming under her breath. Ben marveled at her natural maternal instincts as Hannalore seemed to quiet and listen to her sing. The nurse brought in a medicine syringe full of pink motrin and carefully, with Rey holding the baby still, injected it down her throat. 

“She’ll be just fine, Mommy,” the nurse assured Rey, patting her shoulder. Rey opened her mouth in shock to correct her, Ben assumed, but the nurse left before any words got out. She raised her eyebrows and half smiled, amused, at Ben.

“She thought I was Hannalore’s  _ mother _ ,” Rey whispered dramatically. Ben couldn’t help but chuckle - he was amused and relieved as the baby smacked her lips together after tasting the thick, sweet medicine. Hopefully soon she would be back to her happy self. It wasn’t much longer before the doctor breezed into the room in his green scrubs and long white coat. He introduced himself as Doctor Dameron, a compact man with sparkling eyes and short, graying, curly brown hair. 

“The nurse told me she doesn’t have any obvious signs of infection, so we’ll just straight away check her ears. It’s common for ear infections to pop up in young children,” Doctor Dameron explained. Rey gave the baby back to Ben and he held her on the examination table as Doctor Dameron used his tool to peer into her ear canal. He made an, “Ah-ha,” sound, pulling back and circling around to check her other ear. Sighing, he pulled back. “The good news is that it’s an easy fix. The bad news is that it’s a double ear infection, and she’s going to be feeling  _ pretty  _ bad for a bit.” 

“But it’s easy to take care of?” Ben asked, voice tinged with relief. He let Rey take Hannalore out of his hands and coo at her soothingly as the doctor nodded.

“Ear infections are knocked out with antibiotics, it’s very common in children. Mrs. Solo, why don’t you get little Hannalore dressed -”

“Oh, I’m not Mrs. Solo. I’m just the nanny,” Rey said quickly, chuckling awkwardly. Ben noticed the way her cheeks filled with color as the doctor stared at her with an expression of understanding crossing his face. Ben frowned in irritation as the doctor smirked at her. He didn’t care for  _ that _ , not one bit.

“So where can we get the prescription filled at this hour?” Ben asked. Doctor Dameron turned his gaze from where Rey was packing Hannalore up back in her car seat and he forced a smile on his face, showing all of the pretty white teeth Ben was suddenly considering punching down his throat. Where did he get off, looking at Rey like that? Like she was some - some piece of meat or something. It made his scalp prickle, his muscles go tense. He didn’t like it one bit.

“The hospital has a twenty-four hour pharmacy near the entrance to the ER,” Doctor Dameron said. He squinted at Ben with a sudden recognition lighting his eyes that made Ben’s stomach drop. “You’re Kylo Ren, aren’t you? From Starkiller!” If it wasn’t a rude thing to do, Ben would have groaned.  _ Please don’t let him ask for an autograph of a selfie. _

“That’s me,” Ben said. He tried not to let his irritation show.

“Wow, what an honor. Your daughter is really a sweetie. I heard your wife is…” Doctor Dameron seemed to catch himself, trailing off. “Well, anyway, I wish her the best of luck.” 

Rey stood and brushed her chestnut brown hair off her face and turned to look at Ben.

“Shall we get out of here? I want to get her home and get those meds in her,” Rey said, shifting her wait anxiously from one foot to the other. Ben nodded.

“Thank you, doctor.” He scooped the carseat up and motioned for Rey to step ahead of him.

“Actually, Miss,” Doctor Dameron said, making both of them turn, “if I could just steal you for a moment?” 

Rey glanced at Ben with a puzzled look on her fine features before hanging back to speak with the doctor. He didn’t have to be a mind reader to know what the man was after. He waited a few feet away from the door, gently swaying Hannalore’s car seat back and forth as he waited. The adrenaline was beginning to wear off, leaving only an exhaustion that comes after a greatly stressful event. Hopefully, they could get Hannalore settled before getting some sleep - separately, of course. Not together. Ben blushed that the thought even popped into his head.

Finally, after what felt like an insurmountable amount of time, Rey stalked towards him with bright red cheeks. “Let’s go, please,” she said under her breath, and Ben smirked over his shoulder at where the doctor was watching them. The look on his face was unreadable, but Ben didn’t care - judging from Rey, whom he felt he knew well enough by now, it hadn’t gone very well. They waited for the meds to be filled, taking over the two chairs near the entrance of the cramped little pharmacy. The clock said that it was nearly two AM. 

“What was that about?” Ben asked, and Rey rolled her big hazel eyes.

“You don’t know want to know.” She shook her head, then leaned forward to peek at Hannalore before going on. “I don’t  _ get  _ men. They always think - oh, a single woman, she must be available and will definitely want to hop right on on my - I mean,  _ get with me _ . Even though I don’t think I’m giving off any kind of indication that I am in fact ready to do  _ any  _ of that,” Rey ranted. “I mean, you’re a guy - do you know what that’s about?” She blinked at him, and Ben opened and closed his mouth a few times while searching for an honest answer.

Back in his partying days, he wouldn’t have questioned it. He would have seen Rey and instantly hit on her - when he was in Kylo Ren mode, no woman was safe. Until he met Bazine and swore his loyalty to her, and he hasn’t wanted another girl for a long time. Not until Rey, in fact - of course, the  _ one  _ woman he couldn’t allow himself to have. He didn’t even know what was going on with his wife down in Miami. She hadn’t called or emailed or anything in over a month. Ben couldn’t imagine what she must be going through, being away from Hannalore with no contact for that long. 

Part of him wondered if she even cared. She had been a good mom, he thought - but seeing the way that Rey cared for his daughter was beginning to give him doubts.

“I think he saw an attractive young woman and figured he’d shoot his shot,” Ben said, shaking off his distracted thoughts as Rey peered at him. She blushed under his words and he cleared his throat, tearing his gaze from her pretty face. “I’m guessing that’s what he did, anyway.” 

“Yeah, pretty much.” She dug a scrap of paper out of her hoodie pocket and stared at it for a moment before crumpling it up and tossing it in the waste bin. “I’m not really into arrogant doctors, anyway.” 

Ben hid his smile by looking away. Maybe she was into arrogant rock stars, after all? He was beginning to hope she was. Maybe his feelings weren’t so inappropriate or misplaced, after all. For some reason, the thought made his palms go clammy. He was  _ married _ . He shouldn’t be thinking of Rey like that. No matter how much he was attracted to her, no matter if she liked him back. He would remain faithful to his wife until things were really over between them. He wasn’t a cheater, even  _ if  _ his wife had broken up with him before leaving for rehab. 

“Solo?” called the pharmacy tech from behind the counter. Ben stood to collect Hannalore’s medication and when he returned, Rey was already waiting with the carrier in her slender but strong arms. She looked pale in the bright, harsh hospital lighting, but still so lovely that it nearly heart to look at her. She was wearing bright pink pajama pants and a baggy hoodie that hid what he knew to be a beautiful body, and her long hair spilled over her shoulder where it escaped from her French braid. 

“Let’s get this baby home and back to bed,” she said, and Ben couldn’t help but agree with a hearty nod. No matter what was going on between them - real or imagined - Hannalore came before any of it. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is my 30th birthday, hope you enjoy the smut!

It took a few days but Hannalore was back to normal in no time. It was hard for her to sleep, worrying about the baby, and Rey wished the wall dividing their bedrooms would disappear for those nights. She would have wound up sleeping in the glider in her nursery if Ben hadn’t already been in it. She slacked on chores and Ben slacked on his meetings and his work while they doted on Hannalore. She was held twenty four hours straight, nearly, which was probably spoiling her but neither adult cared. They were worried - scared to their cores - and Rey figured the sickly babe deserved some extra love and attention.

Rey knew she was better when she rolled over for the very first time. Ben was away at a meeting, finally confident that the baby was well enough to leave for an hour - and Rey was trying to coach her through the movements. “You’ve got it - just use those abs, I know you have them under all that fluff - and just - yes, you’ve got it - oh my gosh!” When the baby went from back to belly, it made Rey jump up and do a little dance. It was a huge milestone and the chunky babe was a tad bit behind on it. 

“What a smart girl you are! Oh, your daddy is going to kill me that he missed it!” 

Just then, the door creaked open. Rey scooped Hannalore up to greet Ben in the foyer, beaming. “Hello, ladies,” he drawled playfully.

“Guess who just rolled over!” Rey exclaimed.

“No, I missed it,” Ben whined, but still he was grinning from ear to ear. It made her heart palpitate, seeing his handsome smile. She shook it off, pushing the feeling away -  _ he’s not for you,  _ she reminded herself. “Let’s put her back on the floor and see if she’ll do it again? For Daddy!” 

Rey grinned and hurried back to the living room to put Hannalore on her blanket. Ben paid on his belly in front of, making the baby grin and reach towards him. “Roll over, Princess,” Ben said, eagerly watching with bright eyes. With an inelegant grunt, Hannalore propelled herself into her side and finally to her belly, little legs kicking all the way. Ben was speechless, jaw slack as he watched his child. Watching  _ his  _ reaction made her heart flutter in the most agonizing way.

She wanted him. There was no denying it. Her chest felt tight as tears sprang to her eyes. She wanted him, and he was married. To the mother of his child. She couldn’t come between them, she  _ wouldn’t  _ wreck a family. Swallowing against the lump in her throat, Rey forced a watery smile. God, what was wrong with her?

“Are you hungry? I can put on some lunch for you,” Rey said, standing and conspicuously swiping the tears from her eyes. Ben’s focus was solely on his daughter - fortunately, he didn’t notice. 

“Sure. Can we have grilled cheese? I’m really craving it,” he said absently. Rey nodded and hurried into the kitchen. She could hear him and Hannalore from the other room and smiled to herself as she grabbed out the frying pan. 

She would have to simply ignore her feelings for Ben. Find all of his faults so her heart could change. So far, the only thing she could think of was his occasional moodiness - but that was to be expected of a working musician and recovering alcoholic. He was so sweet with his daughter, who Rey was already head over held in love with. Seeing them together made her stomach do a strange flip, made her long for that feeling of having her own. She had never wanted a child before. Taking care of her foster siblings only served as birth control in her teen years, and her fear of winding up like her own mother terrified Rey. 

She couldn’t have either of them, not really. All Rey could do was make his life as easy as possible, showing her love in the only way she knew how. Thee was no hope here, nothing that could change the situation. He was married. He was a world famous musician. And she was only off the streets due to his uncle’s kindness and Ben’s desperate need for help. She would help as much as she could. Maybe she would meet someone, some day, that made her feel half as strongly as Ben did. 

Perhaps she should have kept that doctor’s number after all.

As she was buttering the bread to toss in the pan, the doorbell chimed. “I got it,” Ben called. She heard him jog into the foyer and open the door. “Snoke,” he said, and she could hear the disbelief in his tone. Her heart stuttered - who was Snoke? She tiptoed to the edge of the kitchen and peeled around the wall. A tall, bald man with a deeply lined face in a smart black suit stood in the doorway. He lifted his sunglasses with a grin that made her feel uneasy, opening his arms to pull Ben into a hug. 

“Kylo Ren,” he said, patting Ben’s back. “I finally made the journey to see your natural habitat.” He strode into the room and spun around, dark eyes flitting around. Rey wondered if she should introduce herself, but Hannalore’s sudden, piercing wail drew her attention and she forgot all about the men as she rushed into the living room to scoop the baby up.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Rey soothed, rubbing her back. Hannalore gazes up at her with tear filled eyes as Ben and the man called Snoke found there way into the massive living room. Hannalore blinked solemnly at Ben, her little lip trembling, as Snoke leaned in to study them both. 

“Who is this fine young lady?” Snoke asked, rubbing his thumb over Hannalore’s socked foot. 

“This is my daughter, Hannalore, and my nanny, Rey. This is James Snoke, the manager of Starkiller.” He smiled tightly and she could feel the anxiety and surprise rolling off of him in waves. Rey extended a hand to the man who glowered at Ben.

“After all these years, I think I’m a bit more than your manager,” Snoke said, taking Rey’s hand. His was dry but very cold and Rey instantly, without question, did not trust the man. There was something odd about him that she couldn’t put her finger on, something that made her want to recoil and snatch her hand back. She gritted her teeth instead, pasting on a polite grin, until he let her go. “I can see why you’re so distracted from your work with such lovely women around.”

Ben blushed and Rey wanted to protest but kept her mouth shut. If  _ only  _ Ben was distracted by her. He  _ had  _ seen her naked before, but it didn’t seem to phase him in the long run or affect their relationship. Their  _ working relationship,  _ she meant. Of course. Because they weren’t in a relationship. Ben was married. 

“Well, I came for business, sadly, not a social call. I need to make sure you’ve actually been working, Kylo. We record the album in two months, and Hux has a  _ wealth  _ of material written… wouldn’t want him making my star look dull, would we?” Snoke’s lips curled into a smile that made Rey want to shiver. Ben looked helpless, but Rey nodded.

“I can fix lunch after I get Hannalore down for a nap. Go work,” she encouraged him with a nod. Anything to get Snoke away from her. Ben looked defeated as he gestured towards the basement door. 

“It was lovely to meet you girls,” Snoke purred, dark eyes raking over Rey from head to toe. Her smile tightened as she nodded, then watched the men disappear down to the studio. For some reason, she hugged Hannalore tightly to her and sighed, relieved. 

“Let’s get you a bottle and go night-night,” Rey murmured. Hannalore patted her cheek in agreement.

****

The studio was neat and cold as Ben lead Snoke inside. It was state of the art, the best equipment money could buy, modern and sleek in the dim lighting. They sat at the sound board and Ben tried to shake unease that churned in his gut. It was highly unusual for Snoke to turn up at his home; it had never happened before. 

“How is sobriety treating you?” Snoke drawled as he settled into one of the rolling chairs. He crossed one leg over the other and stared at Ben intensely, as though he were trying to see right through him.

“It’s good, for the most part. I still struggle,” he admitted. Something about the man made it hard to lie. It was like he could pull the truth out of him, as easy as pulling clothes out of the dryer. It was uncanny. “It’s nice being able to get to meetings regularly. I’ve found a group that I like, I’ve been working the steps.”

Snoke chuckled. “Those old steps, huh? Well, some people need them, I suppose.” He shrugged lightly, and Ben shifted uncomfortably. In rehab, the counselors were very firm on attending Alcoholics Anonymous as a way of maintaining sobriety. It worked when one worked the steps and followed the traditions that had kept thousands - maybe millions - of alcoholics dry over the years. Only people who were unwilling to commit to the program, who were incapable of being honest with themselves about their faults and triggers, were likely to go back out. Ben didn’t want to be one of those people. He  _ had  _ to be a success story for the sake of his daughter, and himself. He didn’t want to wind up with a ruined life because he wasn’t willing to do  _ anything  _ to get clean.

“How’s Bazine?” Snoke pressed on.

“I wouldn’t know. She asked for a separation before she left for rehab. Said that she wanted a clear head and no attachments,” Ben murmured. He didn’t want to be reminded of his failed marriage. Snoke, of course, found this fascinating, and made a sympathetic noise.

“Well, that won’t do. I can’t have my two favorite love birds falling apart.” He stroked his chin thoughtfully.

“Really, it’s ok. I think it might be for the best,” Ben replied. Unbidden, an image of Rey holding his daughter flashed in his mind. Her beautiful fine features and luminous hazel eyes, long brown hair and strong but slender body. Physically, she wasn’t his usual type. He liked tall women with long legs like Baz. But Rey was alluring for more than just her outward appearance. She was breathtaking on the inside, as well. The way she cared not just for Hannalore, but himself…

“You’re thinking about that nanny.” Snoke smirked. “She is a sweet little piece, I’ll give you that. But Bazine is your  _ wife. _ ” 

“I haven’t forgotten,” Ben replied. He blew out a gusty sigh and combed his fingers through his hair. “I’m worried about her. It’s been over a month since she left and not a single word. Doesn’t she worry about Hannalore?”

“Of course she does, son. But you know Baz, she’s so flighty. She’s probably just so distracted with the process and everything she’s learning, trying to get better for when she comes back to you both,” Snoke said. Ben wanted to believe that, but he knew Bazine better than anyone. She was bright and bubbly and effervescent, a beautiful moth drawn to whatever snared her attention before dropping it for something else. It was why Ben had been shocked that she pursued him for more than just a fling. 

“I don’t know. It feels like things are just… over, between us,” Ben said. The thought usually made his heart ache with sadness and regret, but today… Ben found he felt a sense of relief wash over him. No more trying to predict her stormy, quick changing moods. No more walking on eggshells around her, afraid of setting her off. No more wondering what it was about him that seemed to make her crazy. Ben knew he wasn’t innocent in their turbulent relationship, but he also knew he wasn’t totally at fault, which was how Baz loved to make it seem.

“I’ll talk to her. You know how Baz is. She’ll take it straight to the press,” Snoke sighed. Ben’s stomach dropped - the last thing he wanted was his personal business dragged through the papers. A divorce with Bazine was bound to be messy, and she played dirty. Just the thought made him feel queasy.

“Tell her to call me. Please, if you talk to her,” Ben said. “I want to be the one to tell her about Rey and all the changes Hannalore is going through.” He wanted to do damage control, of course. Get ahead of the problems. He sent Snoke a tight smile. 

“Good, thats perfect. Shall we get to work then?” Snoke asked, gesturing towards the sound board. Ben nodded, eager to change the topic. Anything to stop talking about his estranged wife and the potential damage she could do to his wife. 


	7. Chapter 7

After Snoke’s impromptu visit, Ben was walking on eggshells waiting for Bazine to call. After a week, it became obvious that a call wasn’t going to happen. He waffled over whether or not to take the first step, be the bigger man… instead, he pushed it off. It wasn’t on him, after all - she had been the one to leave, to suggest the separation. If she truly cared about him or their daughter, she would call. It was as simple as that. 

Instead, he enjoyed the hot summer days with Rey and Hannalore. He finally mowed the lawn, sweating in the notorious Michigan heat and humidity. They would take Hannalore out early in the morning before the temperature rose too high, letting her laying and roll in the soft grass as they sipped coffee and laughed about her funny, curious expressions. Then Ben would get ready and head to a morning meeting, bringing back calzones or sandwiches from the local take out places while Rey cleaned up the kitchen or ran the laundry or scrubbed the toilets while Hannalore hung out in her bouncy seat, always within Rey’s line of sight. Afternoons were spent working in the studio while Hannalore (and occasionally Rey) napped. It was a comfortable routine that Ben was beginning to realize he was clinging to.

It felt safe. Stable. Ben needed those things.  _ Desperately.  _

After dinner and Hannalore’s bath, Rey and Ben started watching movies. Usually terribly cheesy sci-fi or horror flicks. Easy to watch and laugh at. Ben liked these nights more than he was willing to admit. Rey curled up on the opposite side of the sectional sofa, her feet occasionally brushing his thigh, their hands touching when they both reached for the popcorn at the same time. They were tiny things but enough to set his heart racing and the blood in his brain to flow south. He felt starved for affection after being away from Bazine for months. Rey was right there but impossibly far out of his reach. He longed to do more than accidentally brush past her in the hall or get the occasional elbow nudge when Hannalore was being amusing. He wanted  _ more.  _

That night as Rey sprawled on the couch and he kept carefully to his end, Ben couldn’t stop stealing glances towards her. He knew he was supposed to be thinking of Baz and fixing things between them, but it was hard to concentrate when he could smell the flowery scent of Rey’s shampoo. When she was  _ right there.  _ Sighing inwardly, he pretended to watch the alien movie on the television and not Rey. Did she feel it, too? This undeniable attraction that had him jerking off in the shower like a teenager all over again?

It was more than just the physical stuff. The sweet way she smiled at him, the way she made his favorite meals a few times a week. The way she folded his laundry into cute little piles that she left on his bed - after making it up all neat. She took care of him. It wasn’t part of the job, Ben didn’t  _ expect her  _ to do all of the housework she did. Just take care of the baby and her needs while he was busy working or going to meetings. But Rey did it all, she never complained, and had a smile ready for him that didn’t feel false or forced. 

It wasn’t just the things she did for him, either. She was smart, she knew so much about the most  _ random  _ things like car engines and history - and so funny, fun to be around. She made him smile even when he wasn’t in the mood, made him forget in his moments of weakness when he was dying for a drink. She was gentle and patient when he grew distant and broody. Rey balances him out, it seemed. But maybe he was making it up in his head -

“Ben, you aren’t even paying attention!” Rey exclaimed, sitting up on the couch and nudging him with her toes. “Are you bored? Do you want to watch something else?”

“This is fine,” he said quickly. He watched the light from the television play across her delicate features in the darkness of the living room. “Sorry, I just have - a lot on my mind, you know.”

“Still haven’t heard from Bazine?” she asked, glancing down to toy with the fraying hem of her jean shorts. Ben tried not to follow her gaze - her legs looked so soft and smooth. He wished he could touch them - the thought makes heat stir low in his gut. He mentally shook himself - he couldn’t start getting random erections around her. 

“No. I just - I can’t imagine what is going through her head. Doesn’t she  _ at least  _ care about her daughter?” Ben felt the irritation rising up in his throat like hot acid, choking him. How could one woman be so selfish? 

“She’s an addict, Ben. You have to accept that, just as you accepted your alcoholism. Sometimes what works to fix one addict or alcoholic isn’t enough to change another.” Rey smiled sadly. “It seems having Hannalore was enough for you to quit and see the light. She’s so lucky to have you, you know.”

“Me?” Ben asked, astonished. 

“ _ Yes,  _ you. Are you kidding?” Rey asked in disbelief. She smoothed a hand through her long chestnut hair and laughed. “My mom gave me up so she could continue using. You  _ stopped.  _ For Hannalore. I hope you know… I admire you so much for that.” She couldn’t meet his gaze as her cheeks turned pink. Emotion welled up inside of him, smothering down the anger. She was such a bright person, easy to smile, cheerful - it was so easy to forget the darkness of her past. Ben couldn’t help but slide his fingers under her chin, tilting her face back so that he could see her eyes. She blinked up at him, tongue slipping out to wet her lips, and he was lost in those not quite green, not quite brown eyes. She stared at him, then her eyes dropped to his mouth. 

_ Fuck,  _ Ben thought. He was going to kiss her. He had to, he couldn’t stop himself - but as he leaned towards her, Rey surprised him and met him halfway. Their lips collided in a soft, gentle kiss that stole his breath with how tender it was. Quickly, they both shifted, needing to be closer so they could touch. Her fingers tangled in his long, dark hair and his big hands cupped her jaw. Rey scrambled gracelessly into his lap as their mouths moved together, kiss deepening as he traced the seam of her lips in silence askance, and she let him in with a quiet gasp.

He’d wanted this since he first laid eyes on her. After seeing her in the bath, naked and wet and so sexy that he couldn’t think - and every day since. He groaned as she tugged on his hair and tilted his head back as she straddled his waist, fingers stroking down the sides of his throat. Her tongue slid against his own in a delicious tangle that had them both breathing harder. Ben hadn’t been kissed like this perhaps  _ ever.  _ It was dangerous, it was electrifying. He wanted more, hands greedy as they skimmed down her sides, feeling the outline of her bra and the waist of her jeans before sliding around to cup her full bottom. Her cheeks filled his palms and she moaned softly as he squeezed.

“Ben,” she murmured, pulling back to break the kiss. “Ben, should we - should we really be doing this?”

“I want you,” he said, voice husky and rough with his desire for her. Rey nodded, eyeing his mouth before she was on him again. Her hands traced his collar bones before sliding down his chest, down to his abs. His muscles flexed and she whimpered with need. 

Ben snuck a hand under her loose T-shirt to cup one of her small breasts. It barely filled his palm but her nipple pebbled to attention against his hand and she arched, offering more of herself to him. Ben kneaded the flesh before tweaking her nipple. It made her breath catch so he did it again, until he wanted to wrench more than little gasps from her throat. Mind hazy and thick with lusty fog, he tugged her shirt up and over her head, revealing a sheer black bralette covering her chest. He groaned softly at the sight, breathing hard as was Rey. Her arms twitched like she was preparing to cover herself, so he quickly ducked his head and sucked one of those tight pink peaks between his full lips. Even through the cotton, she was amazing. He loved the little sounds he made as he suckled and nibbled on her, switching sides quickly to show the same attention to her neglected breast. Rey arched and whined under his ministrations, only serving to ratchet his pleasure higher.

He was aching for her inside his gray sweatpants, a needy noise slipping from his throat as he cupped her breasts and pulled back to look at her.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Ben said, but he was praying that she  _ did  _ want to. It had been so long since he had felt the touch of a woman this passionately, since he had wanted someone so much that it  _ hurt  _ not to touch them. Rey nodded, eyes half mast as her hips circled against him in those tiny jean shorts. He wanted to rip them off her, get her as naked as the first night she stayed with them, that night in the bath. It seemed like years ago rather than a handful of weeks. He felt as though he really knew her now, after such a short time, but he wanted to know  _ all  _ of her. How she tasted, how she felt. Rey’s hands shook as they reached to unbutton her shorts.

“I want this, Ben. I swear,” she vowed. She popped the button and drew down the fly as he watched, chest rising and falling with the efforts of his breathing. She stood back between his knees and shimmied out of the shorts and her panties, leaving her completely naked and Ben fully dressed. He wasn’t distracted by that for long, instead focusing on the dark thatch of hair between her legs. “I’m sorry I didn’t shave, I didn’t think we would…” she trailed off.

“I don’t care,” he all but growled, grabbing her hips and settling her back on his lap. His hands were everywhere, roaming over her body greedily. Her skin was so soft, smooth, and warm. He wanted to taste every inch of her but the need for more, to be buried inside of her, was overwhelming him. Gently, he parted her folds with his thick fingers and rubbed between them. She was drenched with arousal and moaned softly, head rolling back on her neck, as he found the bundle of nerves at the top of her sex. With single-minded focus, he began to rub gentle circles into her wet flesh, making her legs twitch where she straddled his thighs. God, she was perfect - every part of her was made for him. He wanted to cry as he sank one long finger into her channel. Velvety soft and so hot - it was going to feel like heaven when his cock was inside of her.

“Please, Ben, I can’t stand it,” Rey whimpered. She was a needy mess, as well - dewy sweat beaded her brow as she worked against his fingers. 

“You gotta come first,” Ben grunted. He was so hard it was almost painful. Rey clung to his shoulders as he rubbed and fucked her with his fingers, making her squirm and pant. He needed it, needed to feel her muscles fluttering against him as he dragged her over the edge. He wanted it so badly that he could almost taste it, was considering tasting  _ her _ , when she suddenly let out a keen that made the hair on his arms and neck stand at attention as her body bowed back, drawn tight as a bow string. Then he felt the gush of liquid slide down his finger as her muscles clamped down around him, squeezing and trying to draw him in deeper. “Fuck, Rey - you’re fucking amazing.” 

“Please,” Rey moaned, sliding off his lap to fall onto her back on the soft cushions. “Please, Ben, I want to feel you inside of me. I’ve wanted this for so long.” 

He paused, half-standing, at her admission. Had she wanted him as long as he had wanted her? Had they wasted all this time, not being together, when each had wanted it? There was no time to think about that now. He tore his shirt off over his head and slid his pants down, boxer-briefs dragged with them. His erection sprang free, thick and pulsing with need, and he climbed on top of her. Their naked flesh slid together in the most tantalizing way; Ben didn’t think he would ever get used to it. Goosebumps pimpled his flesh as he stroked his length, spreading her thighs wide open with his free hand. In the low lighting from the television, Rey looked ethereal. Otherworldly. He wanted to soak it in, remember it forever - their first time.

Because he was certain once they did this, it would be impossible to go back. He wanted her too much. 

“I’m ready,” Rey said, stroking a hand down his abdomen to cover his hand on his cock. Her eyes widened as she felt how long and thick he was, and he watched comically as she gulped. “Wait, are you even going to fit?” 

“I’ll make it work,” Ben said with a smirk that made her wheeze out an unsteady breath. Carefully, he pressed the blunt head of his manhood at her entrance. She  _ was  _ tight, but she was fully wet and ready. Ben hissed as he sank into her, barely just the head, and she moaned. The sound was a heady, decadent thing, shooting straight to his cock. He needed more of those moans, he thought, as he pressed further into her. 

“Oh God,” Rey whined. She fisted her hands in the couch cushions and half sat up, peering down the length of their bodies to watch as he filled her. “You’re so big, Ben. It feels so good.”

“Tell me about it,” he grunted. His eyes nearly crossed once he was fully seated inside of her. It felt so amazing. She was wrapped around him like a velveteen vice, all hot and wet and snug. Even if he hadn’t been practically celibate the last few months, it would have been just as amazing. As it was, he wasn’t sure he would last very long inside of her tight depths.

“You’re stretching me just right - and -  _ oh, Ben _ ,” Rey moaned, “you feel so good.” 

“That’s it, baby,” Ben grumbled as he flexed his hips and withdrew, only to slam back into her with a surprising amount of force that jostled her up the couch. “I don’t think I can hold back, Rey. Tell me if it’s too much.”

“It’s not,” she assured him, moving to soothe her hands over his neck and shoulders. One tangled in his hair and drew him down to kiss him; Ben roughly bucked into her as their tongues slid together. It wasn’t graceful, but it felt great. Like coming home, in a way. He pumped into her over and over as her cries grew higher in pitch. He could tell that she was close again, her hard little nipples scraping against his chest and her body tensing up under him. Her back arched off the sofa and her nails scraped down his back as she wailed, coming undone again, tight channel growing even tighter as it milked him. He wasn’t going to last - they hadn’t talked about birth control - and fuck, he wasn’t wearing a condom, why hadn’t he thought to wear a condom - 

“I have an IUD,” Rey said feverishly as she felt his indecision. “I’m clean, it’s okay.” 

All Ben could do was nod before he was climaxing, filling her with his seed, and nothing had ever felt as incredible in his entire life. No high could compare to this, no drink. He shuddered as pleasure flowed through him, tingles shooting up his spine. He shook slightly as he finished, before collapsing half on top of her. Rey rubbed gentle circles into his back and whispered sweet things as he caught his breath. 

“That was amazing,” Rey whispered, when he pulled back to study her. Ben cupped her jaw again, thumb stroking over her full bottom lip, and he nodded. 

“I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to kiss you. Let alone… that was unexpected.” He shook his head with a playful grin.

“I know. Me too.” She smiled.

“Do you want to… go to bed? With me?” Ben asked, and Rey nodded eagerly. Together, they gathered up their clothes and crossed the kitchen to the master bedroom, where Ben’s big bed was made up and empty, waiting for them. It felt good, better than good, when he curled his long frame around Rey and spooned her. It felt right. She sighed into the pillow and he held her as they fell asleep, totally satisfied and pleasantly surprised.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning, the sound of Hannalore stirring in her crib woke Rey. For a moment, she was befuddled - where was she? Then the previous activities of the night before came back to her, and explained why a warm, heavy arm was wrapped around her middle. She smiled, stretching luxuriously, before turning to press a kiss to Ben’s slumbering face. She slid out of his arms and headed upstairs, feeling awkward being naked but not wanting to put her clothes from yesterday back on. She quickly tugged on a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top before grabbing Hannalore out of her crib and changing her diaper and onesie.

“Good morning, sweet girl,” she greeted as she changed her. Hannalore pouted, likely hungry, as Rey pulled the onesie over her dark hair. “You’re a grump this morning. I hope Daddy and I didn’t keep you up last night,” she added softly. She scooped the baby up and carried her down to the kitchen. Bright sunlight poured through the windows overlooking the tile floor and appliances and Rey made Hannalore a bottle with the baby on her hip. She brought her into the living room and turned on the television to watch a bit of the news before putting on Peppa Pig for the baby.

“Today we have word that Bazine Metal was spotted at a nightclub in downtown Miami…” The anchor drawled, and a shaky video of the interior of a fancy club with strobe lights and neon everywhere flashed on the screen. Rey recognized Hannalore’s mother instantly, downing a shot and dancing. Her long black hair clung in sweaty ropes to her bare skin and she looked beautiful - radiant - as she shimmied and grinded with a random man. Rey felt her stomach drop - did Ben know that she was out of rehab? She wasn’t left to wonder long.

“Son of a bitch,” Ben muttered behind her. Rey twisted to see him, standing shirtless in the archway of the living room. She couldn’t help but let her eyes rove over the pale expanse of his chiseled chest a moment before finding his face. He looked  _ pissed _ . 

“Ben…”

“I can’t believe her,” Ben said. “She’s supposed to be getting better - I knew she would do something like this.” 

Rey’s stomach twisted. This was his wife - the man she had slept with last night. There on the television betraying him. She felt sick - she had helped him cheat. Hannalore’s fast fist tugged her hair and she turned away to hide the sudden rush of tears in her eyes.

“I’m so glad she dumped me before she left,” Ben said with a sigh. She felt his hand slide over her face, tilting her chin up before pressing the softest whisper of a kiss to her lips. “Good morning.” 

“Ummm…” Rey hummed. Her brain felt dazed just from the barest kiss. 

“Hows Hannalore today?” Ben asked, flopping onto the couch beside them. He looped an arm around the back cushion and twirled a piece of her hair around his finger. 

Rey shook off the rising lust. “What do you mean, she dumped you before she left?” 

“She wanted to be “unattached” and not have to worry about our relationship while she was “working on herself,” so… We haven’t been together in nearly two months.” Ben shrugged. 

Rey frowned. “You could have told me that! I thought you - you cheated last night, that we got carried away.” Her pout was met with a wide grin. 

“You thought you were the other woman?” Ben asked with a chuckle. “I would never put you in that position, Rey. I’m not a cheater, either.” His thumb brushed her cheekbone and sent a shiver down her spine that resulted with her sex clenching. She wanted him again - biting her lip, she squeezed her thighs together and prayed that he couldn’t tell what effect he was having on her. How embarrassing - she was already so  _ gone  _ on him. Rey had been with a few guys over her years, but never had a real, stable,  _ steady  _ boyfriend. She wasn’t sure what they were, but she  _ hoped  _ it meant as much to Ben as it did to her. 

“I wasn’t sure,” Rey said in a soft voice. She glanced down at Hannalore, happily chugging at her bottle. “I know we get along, and that… that things were good between us. That we were happy with how things were going… I didn’t want to mess it up, and tell you how I feel.” 

“You wouldn’t have messed anything up, sweetheart,” Ben said. “I feel it, too. I’ve wanted you since that first night, but I was sure you wouldn’t want a fuck-up like me.” 

“You  _ aren’t  _ a fuck-up,” Rey insisted firmly. “If anyone is, it’s  _ her _ .” She glared at the television screen where they were replaying the clip of Bazine. “She has a drop-dead gorgeous husband and the sweetest baby in the entire  _ world  _ and she’d rather be out partying with strangers. She has - she’s just -” There were no words to adequately describe her frustration. Ben nodded sympathetically. “I hate that she isn’t here for you both. But I’m  _ so glad  _ that I get to be.” 

“Me too,” Ben murmured. He leaned forward, closing the distance between them, and kissed her again. Her skin felt electrified with his lips on her, and she couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped throat as he teased her. “Is it nap time yet?” he asked, pulling back.

“You have no idea how badly I wish it were,” Rey mumbled.

“We’ll have to get a sitter,” Ben said, “so I can take you on a proper date.” 

“I bet your mom would watch her,” Rey said playfully. 

“She’s overdue for some grandma time,” Ben agreed. His lips found hers again, kissing her slowly and lazily. It made her head spin. His fingers threaded through her hair, tipping her head back, and his tongue…

Hannalore dropped her bottle and gave a little wail. Breathless, Ben pulled back with a grin, stooping down to scoop the near-empty bottle off the carpet and hand it back to Rey. “I’ll let you ladies be. I’m going to make breakfast today.” 

Rey arched an eyebrow. “Isn’t that my job?” 

“We can take turns,” Ben said, whistling as he strode out of the living room and into the sunny kitchen. Rey watched over her shoulder before turning back to Hannalore. She smiled and shook her head, pressing a kiss to the baby’s brow. 

“Your father is a piece of work,” she murmured happily. Sighing quickly, she leaned back and grabbed the remote to change the news - there had to be something better to watch this early in the morning while Ben was in the kitchen, working on their breakfast. Rey felt so domestic and content - how could anything get better than this?


	9. Chapter 9

Rey woke with a whine. She felt something pressing her thighs open and a wet, lapping sensation at the apex of them. Blinking into consciousness, she found Ben’s face presses against her sex, tongue licking at her clit. Gasping, she arched as one of his fingers pressed into her, filling her hot channel with his long, thick digit. 

“I thought breakfast in bed sounded nice,” he said, pausing his ministrations to tease her with words. Rey huffed out a laugh, threading her fingers through his hair to push him back down. Ben laughed too, sloppily licking at the bundle of nerves that made her body shiver and shake. Rey loved oral - she had never experienced it before Ben, and found the act thrilling. Her heels hug into his back as they wrapped around him, and he reached an arm over her thigh to hold her still. 

“You’re too good at this,” Rey murmured. Ben suckled at her little nub and pumped his finger into her, over and over, until she was whimpering his name and shaking apart under him. He waisted no time crawling up the length of her lean body to line them up. One thrust and he was seated inside of her with a satisfied groan. He held her bottom and tilted her hips so he could fuck her presicely how he wanted to. Long, deep strokes that had her fisting the sheets and writhing with pleasure. She knew he loved to watch her take what he gave her, helpless to do anything but lie there and hold on for dear life. 

“You look so good,” Ben groaned, reaching down to palm her breast in one big hand. Rey moaned as the friction inside of her built, pooling warmth between her hips that made her want him even more. It shouldn’t be possibly to want him more - but every day she woke up, greedy for him. She felt another orgasm steadily building as he pumped in and out. Every time felt better than the last, and Rey felt she would never be tired of him.

“I want you to come in me,” Rey said, because she knew how much he loved hearing it. Ben grinned and thrust harder, wet slapping sounds that filled the room along with their sounds of pleasure. It didn’t take much more - Ben teaching between them to rub her clit - and she was peaking again, trembling as her muscles clenched around him, dragging him down with her. With a hoarse cry, he tossed his head back and she felt him fill her with his hot seed. 

Ben collapsed beside her, and Rey curled into his chest as they struggled to catch their breath. Rey giggles and propped her chin on his firm pec. “That was a treat,” she purred, voice rough from sleep and crying out shamelessly.

“I can’t spoil you?” Ben teased.

“I’d like to return the favor. Soon,” Rey added. For a peaceful moment, they laid together, touching and enjoying the quiet… until Hannalore’s whine signaled that she was awake and hungry. 

“I’ll get her,” Rey said, pressing a kiss to his chest before rising and dressing. 

“I’ll get the bottle,” Ben said. 

They were a good team, Rey thought, as she just hustled upstairs to grab Hannalore from her crib and give her a change. It was like they were dancing the same choreography, perfectly in sync,  smooth.  By the time she was settled with the baby in the living room, Ben had a warm bottle to put in her hands. She smiled up at him, and he dipped to peck her forehead. 

The past few weeks had been… amazing. Rey didn’t know she was capable of such happiness. Between things with Ben and caring for Hannalore, it was a dream come true. She knew that it might seem isolating, just the three of them, but Rey preferred to think of it as existing in a perfect bubble. 

“Don’t forget, its date night,” Ben said before heading into the kitchen to make them something for breakfast. A grin split over her face. How could she forget? Leia was coming to spend some time with Hannalore while they went to dinner. All this time together and they hadn’t been on a proper date. It seemed like a silly formality at this point, but one that Rey found herself looking forward to. She had her outfit picked out - procured on a shopping trip earlier that week. Her first real day off, and she spent it cruising the mall for clothes.

She’d wound up buying a Fourth of July outfit for herself and Hannalore that matched. Ben had died laughing at the pair of them on the night of the fireworks, in their ‘firecracker’ T-shirts and American flag shorts. She had ended up buying Hannalore quite a few new outfits, mostly off clearance as it was painful for Rey to pay full price. Ben had loved the outfit so much that after Hannalore fell asleep waiting for the fireworks to begin, he laid Rey down in the soft grass of the backyard and showed her his appreciation with his lips and tongue as the light display boomed and exploded overhead. It had been an exhilarating experience that left her breathless and twitching, hungry for more. 

The day passed in its ordinary but happy fashion. Rey took a long shower during Hannalore’s afternoon nap, shaving every inch of her body below the neck and slathering on the fancy lotion she had splurged on. She dressed in a plain yellow sundress that made her skin seem deeply tanned. She didn’t bother with makeup - the bare minimum she had seemed pointless against the summer heat. She twisted her hair into a French braid that fell over one slender shoulder and felt satisfied that Ben would appreciate her appearance. After seeing her in mostly sweats and leisure wear the last couple of months, he probably wouldn’t know what to do with her dressed nicely. 

After getting Hannalore changed from her nap, the girls headed downstairs to find Ben dressed in dark jeans and a T-shirt. He looked nice, and his wide eyes taking in her legs and chest in the dress made her heart skip a beat. 

“You look amazing. Should I change? I feel like a schmuck in comparison,” Ben said. Rey grinned and shook her head. She was nervous - though she had seen Leia over the last couple months, she had done exactly what the woman feared - jumped right into her son’s bed. She hoped Nana Leia wouldn’t be too hard on her when she realized she would be sitting for Ben and Rey.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay in?” Rey asked nervously, shifting Hannalore’s weight on her hip. 

“Positive. I want to take you out and treat you right, sweetheart. You deserve a night off… with me.” Ben grinned with mischief twinkling in his dark eyes and Rey couldn’t fight the grin the curled over her lips. He ducked down to kiss her cheek, then Hannalore’s, making the baby grin her big gummy smile that made both of them chuckle.

Soon, Leia was knocking on the door. Rey answered and the older woman swept her into a big hug. “You look lovely, Rey. How’s Ben doing?” she asked in a hushed tone before releasing Rey.

“Good! Still going to a meeting every day. Working down in the studio too. Refuses to show me anything, of course,” she replied with an eye roll. Leia smiles knowingly as she sauntered into the living room where Ben and Hannalore were playing on the floor. 

“There’s my girl!” Leia exclaimed. Hannalore’s chunky little legs kicked like crazy upon seeing her grandmother. Leia grinned and knelt down to baby talk, and Ben watched the women fondly before standing and turning to Rey. 

“We should head out so we’ll be home in time to put Hannalore to bed,” he said, and Leia glanced up as Rey blushed. 

“You’re going into a date… together?” she asked, a wry grin on her lips.

“Come on Mom, don’t be weird,” Ben said, grabbing his keys off the counter and jingling them impatiently in his hands.

“What would Bazine think of this?” Leia asked, sitting back on her heels.

“I don’t know. We haven’t heard from her in months and last I saw she was grinding on some guido in a Miami nightclub,” Ben replied acerbically. He anxiously combed his fingers through his thick, dark hair, and Rey could tell he was itching to get out of there. “It wasn’t like I hired Rey to get her on a date, Mom. Give me a break.”

Leia sighed and shrugged. “Fine. Have fun,” she said. Rey thought she saw a twinkle of amusement in her dark eyes but surely, she must have imagined it. Ben heaved a sigh and took Rey’s hand. 

“Let’s go before she thinks of more questions,” he said, nearly dragging her out of the house. “Bye Mom! Thank you!”

“Hannalore gets a bottle around four and seven, six ounces,” Rey said before they got far. “No baby food before six months!” 

Ben chuckled as they reached his massive black SUV. “My mom knows how to take care of a baby,” he told her as he opened the passenger side door for her. Rey couldn’t help her exasperated sigh.

“This is the first time I’ve left her with someone new. Let me worry a little,” she said, before standing on tiptoe to kiss his cheek and climb in the car. It was all leather, luxurious and screaming of his wealth. She fastened her belt as he climbed behind the wheel and grabbed sunglasses from the overhead console. Rey’s stomach bubbles with excitement. 

“We’re going to a tiny burger joint, if that’s okay. It’s my favorite local place and the paps don’t know about it,” Ben said.

“Should I be worried about winding up in the Chronicle?” Rey asked, stomach suddenly twisting with nerves. She hadn’t even considered that it was a possibility. 

“No, I don’t think so,” Ben said. He turned the engine and grinned at her, reassuring. “Even if you do, you’ll just be a nameless hottie. They won’t delve into your personal life like they do mine.” That didn’t make her feel much better. Rey settled into the seat and willed her nerves to settle. Worrying wouldn’t prevent anything from happening. She would have to deal with it when and  if  it happened.

They cruised down the highway to Detroit proper. The city loomed in the distance and it never failed to take Rey’s breath away. Ben put an oldies station on and the pair sang along to Otis Redding and the Supremes as they drove down the familiar highway towards the city. Her anxiety began to melt into excitement as Ben reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. It felt nice. She was still worried about Hannalore but tried to relax regardless. If Ben was confident that his daughter was in good hands, then Rey would be too. 

It was funny how attached she could get to people so quickly. Seeing the baby and caring for her, loving her, made Rey so happy. She prayed that things with Ben wouldn’t end badly - or wouldn’t end at all - so she wouldn’t be ripped from Hannalore’s life. It would kill her to lose that child and her father. 

After driving for twenty minutes, Ben merger off the highway and took a few turns. The burger joint was in an old brick building in a nice neighborhood, people walking around pushing strollers and walking dogs. It was a good part of the dangerous city. They parked on the street and Ben told Rey to wait as he slid out the door. He rushed around to open her door, which made her grin and blush. What a gentleman.

The interior was dated but homey. They slid into a booth near the front window. Ben day on the same side as Rey, one big hand heavy and warm as it rested high on her thigh. A young waitress with braids took their order, snapping her chewing gum as though she were  so bored.  It was more amusing than anything. Ben nuzzled into her neck, pressing kisses down the column of her throat to make her giggle.

“ Ben ,” she scolded, blushing as an older woman sent them a caustic, disapproving look. 

“What? I want to kiss you.” He presses a loud smooch just below her ear, making Rey shiver.

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Rey pressed on, ducking out of his reach. Ben sighed dramatically but gave her a bit of space with a good-natured grin. He was happy to be with her outside of the house, without the distraction of the baby interrupting. Rey liked it too. “I want to take Hannalore to a baby and mom group. But I’m not her mom, obviously… I just thought it would be a good way to socialize her, you know?”

Ben strikes his chin, thoughtful. “She’s only five months old. How much socialization does she need?”

“Well… you can never start these things too early. It could be nice to get out and make some friends… for both of us.” She peeked at home through her lashes. “I don’t have anyone but you - and as much as I love spending every moment with you, I thought it might not be the  healthiest  thing for our relationship.”

“Our relationship?” Ben asked, grinning. “Are we in a relationship?”

“Well, as much of a relationship as two people can have when one is still married,” Rey teased. Ben looked abashed and Rey quickly covered his hand on her thigh. “I’m teasing, Ben. Of course we’re in a relationship. You’re my guy, right?”

“And you’re  my  girl.” He squeezed her leg.

“And sometimes, a girl wants to brag about what a great guy she has with her girlfriends,” Rey explained with authority she didn’t necessarily have. 

“Ok. Baby and mom meetings are cool, as long as you’re just gonna brag about how much you like me and how good I am in bed,” Ben replied. Rey swatted him playfully. 

“A lady never kisses and tells,” Rey replies with a smirk. Ben shook his head.

“You’re the cutest girl in the world, you know that?” He kissed the tip of her freckled nose and Rey beamed at him. Ben made her feel so seen. Like she was more than just a formerly homeless foster kid, lost and grown with no direction. He and Hannalore gave her a purpose. Soon, she would tell him everything. About her past, her childhood, the circumstances of how she met Luke. But not tonight. Tonight needed to be perfect. 

Their burgers and milkshakes arrived and the duo dug in. Rey could have moaned at how perfect the greasy burgers were paired with her strawberry shake. They chatted about everything while they ate - music and movies, books each had read and Hannalore. Rey found is distracting how worried she was about the baby, but tried to push it away. How Bazine could go months without even a text or call to check on her was  insane  to Rey.

It had hardly been two hours by the time they finished eating and she was anxious to get home. Instead, Ben surprised her by taking her down to the shops nearby. There was a thrift shop filled with outrageous, campy clothes that Rey could have never pulled off - sequins and slits up the thigh and plunging necklines far too brave for her. But Ben insisted she tried on a red silk number that hugged her curves. When she came out of the dressing room, Ben’s eyes darkened as he drank her in. 

“I’m buying this,” he announced. The young girl behind the counter furtively glanced up from her phone, then flashed a big grin. “It’s too hot. You have to wear it to a gig.”

“Oh? I’m going to a gig?” Rey asked, eyebrows lifting, surprised. 

“When Starkiller goes on tour, of course,” Ben said, sliding his hands over her silk-covered hips. Rey glanced nervously towards the shop girl, who was pretending not to pay attention. “I want you on the sidelines, watching. I’m very sexy on stage. All the tumblr girls day so.”

“What’s a tumblr girl? Should I be jealous?” Rey asked, batting her lashes at him.

“Never. You’re the girl for me,” Ben said. He kissed her then, far too passionately for in public, but Rey was weak to protest. His tongue felt so good as it traced her own, making her insides clench with need. They pulled apart after a long moment, breathless and smiling. “I’m buying this dress and tonight, I’m going to fuck you in it,” Ben whispered. Rey shivered in anticipation. 

She let him pay and wore it out of the shop. They walked back to the car, hand in hand, and Rey’s cheeks ached from smiling so much. When they got back to the house, Leia didn’t comment on her wardrobe change. She smiled knowingly and wished them a goodnight before kissing Hannalore and her son goodbye. 

All in all, it was a wonderful night. Rey could picture her future stretched out before her, filled with nights at home and nights out with Ben. She wished, as she made Hannalore a bottle before settling her down for bed, that nothing would change. It was the most content she had ever been, and the sudden sense that something was going to come along and ruin it filled her with dread.

Rey did her best to shake it off. It was just a feeling, after all.


	10. Chapter 10

Ben woke the next morning to his cell phone’s ringing. It was still dark and the house was quiet as he extracted himself from under a warm and naked Rey, who whimpered adorably at the loss of him, sleepy. He hurried into the kitchen, squinting at the lightening, too-early morning sky as he answered, voice sleep-roughened, “Hello?”

“Kylo.” It was Snoke. Ben swallowed the urge to groan. Couldn’t it wait until the sun was up? “I take it you haven’t seen the press yet.”

“I just woke up,” Ben replied, holding the phone away from his face as he yawned.

“Your little trust is all over Twitter. Calling you scum for cheating on your wife, wondering who that little slut you had your hands all over was. I thought you were going to forget about your nanny and stay faithful to your wife?” Snoke snarled. Ben grimaced.  _ Shit. _ He had been sure they were safe from scrutiny but - apparently, he was wrong. The paps seemed to find him no matter what, and if it wasn’t the paparazzi it was random people on the street. There was nowhere safe in the public eye, and he should have remembered that.

He was just so excited to spend time with Rey away from the house. Ben loved his baby, couldn’t get enough of her chubby cheeks and newfound babbling voice - but it was hard to relax when worrying about meeting her every need. They  _ both  _ needed the time out of the house away from Hannalore. It had been good for them. Watching Rey be silly, not constantly wondering what Hannalore needed or what she should be cleaning next was a gift in itself. She was wonderfully carefree, and had looked like sin incarnate in that little red dress he bought. His dick twitched at the memory of it molded to her subtle curves.

He should have known better than to risk putting Rey in the spotlight. Opening her up to scrutiny from strangers - usually  _ mean  _ strangers - on the Internet. He never wanted her to experience that. 

“We just went on a date,” Ben said defensively. “Bazine is out doing Lord knows what in Miami. Did you see the video of  _ her? _ She’s obviously not committed to getting clean… and I won’t be with someone that uses,” he said firmly. There was no way he could stay clean if he was around someone that used - the temptation was too strong. It was part of what he learned in rehab and at AA meetings. It was recovery 101. Why was it so hard to understand?

“I saw that, too. I’m not pleased,” Snoke snapped. “I’m flying down to Miami ASAP to straighten her out.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Ben swallowed nervously. He had spent so long listening to Snoke and following his orders that standing up to him  _ now _ felt terrifying. But for Rey, he would do it. Even though his heart pounded and his palms grew sweaty. God, this anxiety made him thirst for a drink. A gallon of vodka or shots of tequila - he clenched his fist until they knuckles turned white and gripped the phone tightly. “I’m done with Bazine. I’ve moved on, so has she. We’re through.” 

“Come on, Ben. She’s your wife - you took  _ vows.  _ You can’t throw it away for some little slut so easily.” He sounded like he was restraining his anger, and Ben knew this wouldn’t be so easy. Snoke had a terrible temper, and Ben had been on the receiving end more than a few times. But he never fought back or defended himself - usually because he felt that he deserved it. This time was different - this was about Rey. It had been a short amount of time but she meant so much to him. He wouldn’t give her up.

“She’s not some slut. She’s - she's  _ everything  _ to me,” Ben said, weakly. “I love her.”

“You barely even know her!” Snoke snapped. Ben could feel his ire through the phone. It made him shake with nerves - God, he had not missed this. 

“I know her. She’s - the kindest person I’ve ever met. She cares for my daughter and for me. I’m not going to give her up,” Ben said. “That’s final.”

“After everything I’ve  _ done  _ for you,” Snoke growler, “I would expect more loyalty than this, Kylo!”

“Stop calling me Kylo. My name is Ben.” 

“You - you had better be on a plane to LA to finish this album within the next two days. Or you’ll be hearing from my lawyers,” Snoke said, deathly quiet and calm in a way that twisted Ben’s guts. The line went dead - Ben lulled the phone down and gripped it tight in his fist before whipping it across the room. It dented the stainless steel fridge and shattered on the tile floor. He scrubbed a hand over his face and groaned.  _ Fuck.  _ When he turned to the bedroom door, he found Rey standing in one of his big shirts, which drape down to her thighs. She looked tired, but breathtaking, and he dragged himself over to her.

“Are you okay?” she asked softly.

“I don’t know.” Ben tugged her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her. He didn’t want to face Snoke. He didn’t want to go to LA. Not just because he didn’t want to be away from Rey and Hannalore, but because he didn’t want to be transplanted back to the very heart of his addiction. What would he do without Hannalore there, reminding him of what he had to lose? Would he back slide? He sighed and squeezed Rey tight. “I have to be in LA within the next two days.”

“Really? Starkiller stuff?” Rey murmured into his chest. 

“Yeah. We have to finish this album. I’m contractually obligated,” Ben said. “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you or Hannalore.”

“We’ll be ok.” Rey drew back to meet his gaze. “We'll miss you a ton, don’t get me wrong. But we will survive and be here waiting for you.” She stood on tiptoe to press a kiss to his chin, then the bottom of his jaw. Ben shivered. How could she effect him like that, so easily? With a soft growl, he hefted her into his arms and brought their mouths together for a kiss that curled his toes and make his erection stand firm. He walked her back into the bedroom and dropped her gracelessly onto the bed. Rey smirked at him.

“Are you going to miss me?” she asked, tugging the T-shirt up and over her head. Her dark hair spilled down her shoulders and Ben gulped. God, she really was beautiful. He wished he could tell her precisely in words what she meant to him, how much he cared for her already. Hadn’t he told Snoke that he  _ loved _ her? It was true, he thought without hesitation as he kneeled before her beside the bed, parting her thighs and capturing one of her tight pink nipples between his lips. He would do anything she asked - he would stay, dammit, if she demanded that he did. Anything to make her happy.

But Rey wasn’t like Baziine. She didn’t demand anything of him. She took what he gave her and smiled about it, which in turn made him want to give her  _ everything  _ she ever wanted and more. The woman had a hard life - not that any of them grew up easy - but Rey more than most. She was so vibrant, so sweet. He licked a hot stripe between her breasts and moved to lick his way down to the apex of her thighs when Rey tangled her fingers in his hair and tugged him up.

“I just want you,” she whispered, staring into his eyes, no being coy or shy. She licked her lips, “I want you inside of me,  _ please  _ Ben.” 

How could he say no when she asked so nicely? 

She dragged him on top of her, and Ben pushed his underwear down his legs to line them up. It took one solid thrust for him to fill her, and Rey was already moaning quietly under him.

“We don’t have much time before the baby wakes,” she murmured, kissing at his throat and tugging on his dark hair. “I want you to make me come before she does.” 

Fuck, if that wasn’t good motivation, nothing was. He strummed against her clit with one hand while he pumped into her, rough thrusts with little rhythm as their passion built. It felt like something he could do for an eternity - making love to Rey was like nothing else. Like she was made for him, made for their bodies to be slotted together perfectly like Swedish furniture. The wet sound of their sweaty bodies joining, her gasps and whimpering moans, the way her nipples rasped against the hard expanse of his chest. It wouldn’t take him long, either - he just had to get her there first.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Ben said through gritted teeth as he worked her closer and closer to the edge. Rey tossed her head back, arching her neck, pushing her flushed chest close to his face. He leaned down and suckled one of her nipples, hips frantic as they slammed against her. 

“I’m so close,” she whined, a hiccupy-sob torn from her throat as he increased the pressure and rubbed tighter circles over her bundle of nerves. He could feel her tightening, her limbs began to tremble. It felt so good, buried inside of her, he felt like a thermometer threatening to burst on a scorching summer day. Finally, it happened - she gasped and held her breath as a wave of pleasure washed over her, muscles fluttering delicately around his cock as she reached her peak. Soon, she was crying out softly, his name over and over, and Ben couldn’t hold back any longer. He climaxed with a final thrust and the cry of her name on his lips, shuddering and gasping as the sensation flushed through him.

Rey clung to him, petting his hair and whispering that she was going to miss him so much as they came down. Ben held her tight, saying nothing - he was afraid to speak, so emotional in his post-coital haze, that he feared he might cry. 

“I love you too, you know,” Rey whispered, cupping his stubbled cheek and forcing him to gaze into her eyes. 

“I know,” Ben whispered back. He held her as long as he could, until the sweat cooled from their body and Hannalore began to stir in her crib. With a reluctant sigh, the pair climbed out of bed to begin their day, the knowledge of his trip in just two days already weighing heavily on their hearts. 


	11. Chapter 11

The day before he left was bittersweet. They spent the day as they normally did, only instead of Rey napping with Hannalore as she liked to do, they stayed awake making slow, lazy love. Rey knelt down between his knees and took him on her hot little mouth, sucking him down her throat until she gagged and he groaned. It was the special kind of sex between two people that wouldn’t see each other for a long time; tender, delayed, powerful. Pleasure slid down his spine and built in his lower back as she worked him over, wide hazel eyes gazing up at him with a mischievous twinkle. Ben had to work hard not to come before they reached penetration. He didn’t want it to end before he felt her climax around his aching, swollen erection. 

Rey had been sopping wet when he slid into her, snug around his cock and instantly crying out her pleasure. Ben could have spent days worshipping her lean little body, giving her all the pleasure she could take. He wanted to make her cry and shake with it. And he  _ did.  _

The night before he left, Rey was quiet. Ben knew she was worried about him leaving, about what would happen when they were apart. Would he maintain his sobriety? Would he miss her? Ben knee the answer to both questions was  _ yes.  _ He would remain sober, he would miss her and Hannalore so much that it  _ hurt.  _ But he would go and finish this album for them. A step towards freedom, he was beginning to think. A step towards breaking away from the band and starting something on his own. 

It was just a thought - but a very appealing one. 

The flight to LA was only a few hours long but it felt like he was traveling to the ends of the Earth. Rey and Hannalore had been at the airport to drop him off; it broke his heart having to say goodbye to his little girl and the woman that had stolen his heart. But he had to - there was no way he could win against the team of lawyers that Snoke had threatened him with, and Ben wasn’t even sure if he wanted to leave the band or not. If only there were a way to get his bandmates off drugs and alcohol and hooking up with random women and partying every night. Then,  _ maybe  _ he could consider staying with the band long term. As it was, he couldn’t even stay at the same hotel with them. It was too difficult, too tempting - knowing just a few rooms away, Hux had a little baggie of cocaine and the bar downstairs would serve him around the clock, just because of his celebrity. 

Not this time, he thought as the plane began its descent. Though he had flown a million times before, he still gripped the arm rest until his knuckles ached as the plane bumped its way to a stop on the runway. 

Instead, he was going to find meetings. He wouldn’t socialize with the band outside of the studio - and if they tried to bring the party in there, he would leave. It was all he could do - and pray for the best, of course. 

The paps are waiting at the terminal, but so is Phasma. She tossed Ben a smug little grin as he reached baggage claim, already holding onto his rolling suitcase. “It’s good to see you, boss,” she said as warmly as Phasma could manage. She was tall and platinum blonde, a real head-turner. The bright red slash of her lips was stark against her milky-pale skin and she was the same height as Ben, maybe an inch taller depending on her coif that day. She was dressed in a charcoal suit with stiletto heels that clacked across the floor as they exited the terminal. Cameras flashed and the paparazzi shouted, trying to get any sort of reaction from him, but Ben did his best to keep his head down and his mouth shut. Feeding the trolls was one of the first lessons he learned in the industry. They would take any scrap they could latch onto and run with it.

He climbed into the waiting sleek, black limousine at the curb and Phasma followed in behind him. Unsurprisingly, Snoke was waiting for him, dressed as always in a dapper suit. He grinned as Kylo nodded to him. 

“I knew you’d come to your senses, boy,” the man said with a smug grin. Phasma stared silently out the darkly tinted windows as they pulled from the curb, offering no assistance. She was one of Snoke’s employees - she probably agreed with the older man on whether or not Ben should stay with Bazine. Her loyalty was to Ben’s boss, not him, no matter what she said. The more he thought about Baz, though, the angrier he grew.  _ She  _ was the one that had thrown away their marriage, their family. She hadn’t contacted him on nearing three months. What kind of mother abandoned her child like that? 

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Ben asked, reluctant. “Did you ever get ahold of Bazine?” He almost hated to ask, as he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. 

“I set her back on the right path,” Snoke replied. The car cruised down the highway, and Ben took in the familiar palm trees, the sight of the ocean stretched out beneath a cloudless blue sky. He  _ had  _ missed LA - a tiny bit, the way he missed his mother occasionally or their childhood dog, Chewy. But it was more trouble than Ben figured it was worth. There was so much hedonism, so much indulgence. It would be impossible to avoid it completely as he wished he could.

“How did you manage that?” Ben asked curiously. The Bazine he knew was stubborn and bent to no one’s will - especially his. She would argue for no reason, resulting in some of their more  _ adventurous  _ intimate moments over the years. They always fought and fucked better than they actually got along, Ben always thought. It was a relief to be with a woman that was steady like Rey. 

“I reminded her of how much she stood to lose if you were to separate,” Snoke replied. It felt cryptic - did he mean  _ Ben  _ and Hannalore or something else? There was something menacing about Snoke that Ben had never been aware of before, at least not  _ this  _ acutely. Something threatening lurking just under the surface. Perhaps it was because Ben had never disobeyed him before. He always fell in line and obeyed commands, whatever it was. 

Now that he was beginning to have his own voice, he was seeing a totally different side to the man. 

Ben turned to stare out the window. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to his own questions. He wondered what Rey and Hannalore were doing that very moment, whether they were missing him or not. He knew she was set up to go to a baby play group that afternoon, something to take her mind off of missing him. He hoped that it worked - and hoped that they could get this recording done in record time so he could go home and be with his family again. 

****

Rey found the coffee shop with little difficulty, thanks to her GPS. On the concrete patio she could see the two other mothers with their babies, and smiled with relief. For some reason, she was anxious - like the moments before a job interview. She shouldered the diaper bag and grabbed Hannalore from her car seat, and crossed the sidewalk to where the women were sitting. 

Rose Tico, according to her Facebook profile where the Mommy and Me group Rey had discovered was located, was a twenty-six year old mother of one, married to a Finn Prince. Rey had scoured over their profiles, searching for any bit of weirdness she could suss out. They seemed almost painfully normal, focused on baby Briar, and very into each other if the selfies of them kissing were anything to go on. 

Rey didn’t quite have the hang of Facebook. She had made the profile to going to the local mom group and find a meetup. It seemed very…  _ intense.  _ There was a ton of infighting and snide remarks and Rey wondered why they couldn’t just get along. There seemed to be so many different ways to raise a child, and everyone thought their way was superior. 

Rose - and the blonde with her, Kaydel Ko Connix,were the least confrontational of the bunch. Rey had privately inboxed them to schedule the meet up, introduce the children. She hoped it worked out - she was going to need something to occupy her thoughts with Ben gone.

“Hey!” Rose exclaimed robustly as Rey settled in at their table. Hannalore gurgled happily on Rey’s lap as the women smiled, a bit awkwardly, at each other. “I’m so glad you wanted to meet up! I was going mad stuck in the house with Briar all day.”

“Tell me about it.” Kaydel’s baby was only two months old and wrapped in a sling across her chest. From the pictures Rey had seen, Poe Junior - PJ - was an adorable little guy with a head full of curly dark hair like Kaydel’s husband. “I needed a break from all the laundry. Cloth diapering is never ending laundry - but the nappies are just so  _ cute.”  _ She flashed a guilty grin and Rey smiled. Kaydel was very environmentally conscious - and vocal about it without being condescending.

“My boyfriend left yesterday,” Rey said, “and it’s quite lonely without him.” She kissed Hannalore’s head, knowing the baby was missing her father as well. She had rolled around the living room all morning, trying to escape - looking for him, Rey guessed. It was pitiful. 

“How long is he gone for?” Rose asked, covering her hand and squeezing sympathetically. 

“Just a few weeks, we hope,” Rey replied. He hadn’t been sure - recording could go fast if they were on a roll. If they struggled with creative differences, then it could stretch on indefinitely. She prayed for the former. A few weeks was manageable - she had a Luke and Leia for help if she needed, but nothing was a good enough substitute for Ben. His bed had felt vast and empty without his large body wrapped around her. She missed him so much that it ached in her chest. Rey felt weak for needing him so badly. She just wanted him  _ home.  _

“I could use a break from Poe,” Kaydel said wistfully. “He’s already badgering me to make another! Can you imagine?”

Rose shook her head. “I’m one and done,” she said firmly.

“Hannalore isn’t mine,” Rey said. “Her mother is out of the picture.”

Rose gasped and Kaydel blinked in shock. Rey had to keep Bazine’s identity a secret. She didn’t want anyone to know that Ben was who he was - not yet. She had already been posted with him on the internet, but the video was obscure and her face wasn’t visible -  _ luckily.  _ Ben worried the paps wouldn’t leave them alone if they discovered Rey’s identity. She had never considered that her privacy was so valuable until becoming Ben’s nanny. 

No one had ever noticed her before. Now Rey was praying that trend continued.

“Do you want a baby of your own some day?” Kaydel asked. 

Rey nodded. “A little boy, maybe. But I’ve heard their monsters.” She giggled as Kaydel shook her head.

“My sweet PJ? Never!”

Rey was glad they had met up. It distracted her mind as they chatted about television shows the women watched and the changes their bodies had endured during pregnancy and birth. It was only slightly nauseating hearing about the tearing and pain - enough that Rey was glad she was on birth control for the time being. She didn’t even know if Ben wanted more children - or if he wanted them with  _ her. _

It had only been a couple months. It seemed like she had known him forever, though. The length of time they spent together seemed less important than the quality of time, in the long run. Rey loved him - and he loved her. The knowledge would have to buoy her along until they were together again, though it hardly seemed enough.

Suddenly, she was overcome with emotion. She was worried - worried what would happen when he came back. Would the distance dull his feelings? Would he still see her in the same light? She had  _ such  _ a bad feeling about this trip, about Snoke. Rey longed to have him back home immediately. Should she call him? No, she didn’t want to bother him with her unfounded fears… But her stomach twisted with anxiety that she couldn’t put her finger on.

“It’s okay, Rey,” Kaydel said softly. Rey blinked at her and realized tears were rolling down her cheeks with a start. “You don’t have to be strong with us. We get it - parenting alone is hard, especially when the kid isn’t even your own. But he’ll be back, eventually.”

“Hopefully soon,” Rose agreed, softly.

Rey wished she could explain it all to them - but she couldn’t trust anyone. Not if it could jeopardize Hannalore’s safety, Ben’s privacy. Shaking it off, she chuckled - a waterlogged sound - and sighed. “I’m being dramatic, I’m sorry,” she said, brushing the tears away with one hand. “I just miss him so much, you know?” 

The women shared a knowing look and smiled. “You must really love him,” Rose said, “taking care of his baby, it takes a lot out of you.” 

“I think my period is coming too. That’s why I’m so emotional,” Rey laughed.

“Let’s get you something chocolatey,” Kaydel said, flagging down the waitress. “That always helps.” 

Rey smiled, grateful. She was so glad to have her new friends while she was missing Ben so much. 

  
  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12

It had been two long weeks, and Rey found that missing Ben didn’t go away over time. She met up with Rose and Kaydel as often as they could, coming to each other’s homes and letting the babies play on the floor while the mothers gossiped. Rey and Hannalore were doing all right without Ben, though Rey missed the teamwork of having him home. Caring for a baby was a lot of work, especially by herself, but she managed. Each night, she collapsed into his bed, missing him and his strong arms and his wonderful scent. She tried to huff it from his pillow but it was fading fast, replaced by the scent of her shampoo. 

She was folding laundry on the couch when the phone rang. She jumped to answer it, her heart suddenly pounding. She was so glad they had gotten her a cell phone before he left - she wold have been lost and even  _ more  _ lonely without it. Pressing the answer button, she said, “Hello?” 

“Baby,” Ben said, sighing. It was the most comforting sound in the world - relief to hear her voice. She felt the same way when she heard him.

“Oh my God, when are you coming home?” Rey asked. “I miss you so much. I can’t believe how much I  _ miss  _ you.” 

“I know.” Ben sounded sad and tired. She wondered how the music was coming, if his bandmates were being cooperative. How bad Snoke was treating them - was he putting on the pressure? Was he making things very difficult? Rey wanted to beg him to come home - but she couldn’t ask him to quit the band just because she wanted him back in their bed. She knew it was ridiculous - it had only been two weeks - but she ached to have him by her side once more. “How is Hannalore?” 

“Missing you, but fine. She’s close to crawling,” Rey added, watching the little girl as she pushed up onto her arms. She couldn’t quite get her little knees under her body, stuck in a rocking motion as she grunted in frustration. “Soon I’ll have to get a gate for the living room if I’m going to get anything done.” 

“I miss her so much,” Ben said. She could hear it in his voice. He felt badly - guilty. He wanted to be home with his baby so much. “I miss you too.” 

“I know. Do you have any idea how much longer will it be?” Rey asked, hopeful.

“I wish I knew. Hux is being insufferable and nixing every idea I have. It’s like he’s stretching it out on purpose, I swear to God.” He was frustrated. Rey wished she could help him work off that energy - preferably with him between her legs, filling her and splitting her open and making her cry out. She longed to feel him again, taste him. Her legs squeezed together and she sighed wistfully. “What are you doing? How have things been?” 

“You know me. I’ll survive,” Rey replied. “Hannalore and I have been hanging out with our new friends, going grocery shopping. I love taking her with me.” It was so entertaining, now that she could sit up right by herself in the shopping cart. Old folks fawned over her, and other children were always waving and saying hello. Rey didn’t like attention on herself, but watching everyone gravitate towards her sweet, pretty girl made her smile - and Hannalore was always grinning with her gums back at everyone. “How are you? Have you been able to go to any meetings?” 

“I haven’t. There hasn’t been time. We’re in the studio until three, four o’clock in the morning. Then we’re back at it by nine. It’s exhausting - creatively, we’re having so many differences in opinion that I can’t get a word in. The guys want to stick to the same old songs we’ve been putting out for the past five years. I want to try something new. I’ve been giving in because - Rey, I just don’t  _ care  _ anymore.” He sounded in disbelief that he was even saying it, and Rey felt her chest tighten with hope. “Snoke doesn’t care what we want - I don’t want to be part of this band anymore. I want to be  _ home _ , with you. I want to create my own music, without the band and without Snoke dictating what I do.” 

“Oh, Ben,” Rey said, covering her mouth in shock. Her heart lurched. This was what she was hoping he would say - she was praying he would change his mind about the band. Would he quit? She could only hope.

“I just have to finish this album. I’m going along with what the guys want - I mean, I try to argue and they just blow me off, anyway. I’m going along to get along… And when the album is finished, I’m done.” 

“Ben, are you sure?” It was such a huge sacrifice. Rey couldn’t ask him to do it, though she very much wanted to. He had to make the decision himself.

“One-hundred percent, sweetheart.” She could hear the smile in his voice and giggled.

“Just finish the album and come home to me,” Rey said. “Please, as fast as you can.” 

Ben chuckled. “You miss me that much?” 

“More than that much,” Rey replied. 

“Okay, baby. I’ll get it done, and I’ll come back to you. I promise.” 

“You better.” She smiled. She felt better than she had in the whole time that he had been gone. He would be free from the destructive past that had nearly brought him down. He would be free of the creepy old manager that didn’t care about anything other than the money Ben could make him. Rey wanted to jump for joy - she wanted to weep with relief. Instead, she settled for telling Ben she loved him. 

“I love you too, Rey. More than you could ever know. “ He sighed softly. “I better get back to it. Kiss Hannalore for me.” 

“I promise. Bye, Ben.” 

“Bye, Rey.” 

They hung up and Rey clutched the phone to her chest. She prayed it wouldn’t be much longer. Sighing, she moved back to the couch to resume folding all of Hannalore’s tiny outfits when a knock sounded on the door. She frowned - they weren’t expecting any company today. Standing, she combed a hand through her messy chestnut waves and sauntered to open the front door. Standing on the other side was a tall, thin woman with long black hair cut into fringe across her forehead. 

Rey knew instantly who it was.  _ Bazine. _

“Who the hell are you?” the tall woman asked, pushing her sunglasses up into her bangs. Deep blue eyes raked over Rey from head to toe. She felt inadequate compared to the pale beauty before her - but she knew better. Bazine wasn’t better than her just because she was a pretty face and talented musician. She had abandoned her husband and child to party down in Miami, hadn’t she? What kind of a person  _ did  _ that?

“I’m Rey, I’m the nanny,” she explained.

“Oh,  _ the nanny _ . Yes, Snoke told me  _ all  _ about you,” Bazine said. She pushed past Rey, making her stumble against the foyer wall, and stomped into the house. “Where is my daughter? I  _ cannot  _ believe Ben left her with some slut he’s shagging so he could fly out to record the album. Well?” Bazine asked, whirling around on Rey. “Where is she?” 

“She’s napping, upstairs,” Rey replied in a steady voice. Her anger flared just beneath the surface, threatening to escape. She didn’t like these accusations when - for the past few months - she had been taking care of both Ben and the baby. It was insulting. She had cared for Hannalore as if she were her own daughter, loved her that much. Bazine couldn’t be bothered, having so much fun partying down in Florida, after all. “She’s on a schedule, she won’t be awake for another hour. Does Ben know you’re here?” 

“He’s  _ my  _ husband, after all,” Bazine said, which wasn’t much of an answer. Rey wanted to kick the woman out, wanted to pull her hair and scratch her face for what she had put Ben through. Instead, she took a deep breath.

“Why don’t you come back later? We’ll have Luke and Leia come over and we can all sit down and chat,” Rey offered as kindly as she could. Her smile was strained. She didn’t want to talk to this woman at all. She wanted to smack some sense into her.

Bazine’s gorgeous smile was as strained as Rey’s. “No. I think it’s time for you to leave.” 

“Over my dead body,” Rey hissed. “I’m not leaving Hannalore with  _ you _ . Are you even sober? When was the last time you used, Bazine?” She scoffed in disbelief. “Leave her with you… I don’t even  _ know  _ you.” 

“And I don’t know you, and yet you’re taking care of my child and living in my home.” Bazine gestured to the tidy living room. “Making yourself all cozy, taking my place. Well, think again, sweetheart. This is  _ my  _ home,  _ my  _ husband,  _ my child. _ You can’t take that from me.” 

“I already have,” Rey spat. “He doesn’t  _ want  _ you anymore. He loves me.” 

Bazine huffed. She dug around in the purse hanging off her shoulder and stalked closer to Rey. Rey stepped back but bumped into the wall, and before she could push her away, Bazine had stuffed a rag tight against her nose and mouth. Rey tried to scream or shove her away - but it suddenly felt as though her arms were weighed down by something, and she couldn’t find the strength to push Bazine away. Weakly, she batted at her, but it wasn’t enough to make the woman stop.

“Have a nice nap, Rey,” Bazine said, her voice calm considering what she was doing. Rey tried to breathe but it was a cold, chemical taste that invaded her mouth, making her gag. 

Rey’s eyes drooped and finally shut. She slid down the wall to a heap on the tiled floor, and the world went black. 

****

Ben sighed in frustration and yanked the headphones from his head. He was exhausted, hungry, and worst of all - dying for a drink. He’d forgotten how annoying his band mates Hux and Mitaka were. He had forgotten what it was like having Snoke breathe down his neck and watch his every move. No wonder he had chosen to escape through drugs and alcohol. 

But he was strong. He wasn’t going to drink today - that was all he was worried about. Making it through the day, getting back to his hotel room to FaceTime with Rey and Hannalore. He couldn’t stress about tomorrow or the days that would follow. All Ben could do would make sure that he did everything in his power to stay clean and sober for this day. He would worry about tomorrow when it came.

As it were, Ben was struggling. It was hard when Hux and Mitaka were slamming Heineken and chain smoking cigarettes. He knew they were on  _ something  _ \- the teeth grinding sniffling pointed towards cocaine. Whatever it was, Ben wanted no part in any of it. They kept disappearing to the bathroom or out to smoke, leaving him alone with his thoughts and irritation while trying to finish the album. 

The guys just wanted to party. They were all at odds. It was exhausting. 

What he wouldn’t give to be home with his daughter and Rey. 

Snoke seemed to sense his bad mood. “I don’t know why you’re  _ torturing  _ yourself. No one would blame you for indulging a bit,” the man said. He was dressed as always in a dapper black suit with a metallic gold tie that glinted in the low lighting of the studio. He reached into his pocket and offered Ben a tied plastic baggie of white powder. Ben felt his jaw go slack in disbelief - his own manager was trying to encourage him to use? It felt like a nightmare. He started to sweat as he stared at the pouch of chemicals. He couldn’t tear his eyes from it. It would be so easy - it would help, maybe, with how he was feeling…

“No,” Ben said, shaking his head. He thought of Rey, of all that she had been through. What her own mother had put her through over  _ drugs _ . He couldn’t do that to Hannalore, he wouldn’t ruin his life again. It was so easy to believe that it would be  _ just one time  _ but Ben knew there was no such thing. You were either an active addict or recovering. He didn’t want to throw himself into the world of drugs and alcohol and partying ever again. He wanted to be strong, he wanted to provide a stable life for his child and the woman that he was falling in love with. Shaking his head, clearing his throat, he said more firmly, “ _ No.  _ Thanks, but… I don’t do that anymore.” 

Snoke’s brittle smile looked even more forced as he glared at Ben. “One time isn’t going to kill you.” 

“Tell that to the addicts who thought the same and wound up overdosing,” Ben muttered. “I’m not using. You can’t make me.” 

“I wonder what Bazine would think, seeing you refuse me,” Snoke sniffed, shaking his head. “I wonder how she’s doing with Hannalore right now.” 

His heart stuttered to a stop in his chest before racing off, pulse thundering in his ears. “What did you say?” 

“Yes, I had a chat with her. Reminded her of how important her child is, how much she needs a mother before someone else takes her place.” His dark eyes narrowed menacingly. “I reminded her of how fickle men can be. One day they’re vowing to love you their whole lives, the next moment they’ve found something shiny and new to distract them…”

“Where is she?” Ben asked. He stood and palmed his phone from his pocket. The screen revealed a dozen missed calls and texts from Rey. Panic shocked him to his core, making his body tense and his stomach churn. He felt absolutely sick as he stared in disbelief at the man he had trusted with  _ everything  _ since coming into the industry. The man that he had looked to as a father, a brother, a confidant. Snoke was supposed to have Ben’s best interest at heart, was supposed to be taking care of him. And yet he was handing him drugs and orchestrating this kind of stunt?

It was the final straw. He was trembling as he pointed at the man that had betrayed him. “I quit,” Ben spat. “You can sicc your lawyers on me all you want. You can sue me, I don’t give a fuck. But I’m done. I’m leaving the band, and I’m never going to work for you again.” 

“Ben,” Snoke tried to reason, but it was too late. He shook his head and stomped out of the studio, dialing Rey’s number with fear and anger racing through his veins. She answered before the first ring had even finished.

“She took her.” Rey sobbed, her breath hitching over the line. “Bazine came here and - she knocked me out, she took the baby - Ben, I’m so sorry -”

“It’s okay, baby,” Ben soothed, as he blew down the hallway, knocking Hux out of his way. “Don’t worry. I’m coming home.” He would do whatever it took to protect them. He needed to call Bazine. Dread slid like icicles down his spine. “I’m going to call Baz. I’m going to get Hannalore back home. I love you, Rey.” 

“I love you too,” she whimpered tearfully. His heart ached for the fear in her voice and the pain, too. “Go get her back, Ben. Please.” She sounded heartbroken. 

His feet pounded down the stairs as he hung up and called the only number he had for Baz. It wrang a few times before she picked up lazily. “Hello, Benjamin,” she purred. 

He could imagine her, tall and dark in black leather and lace, chain-smoking Parliament cigarettes and giving their daughter secondhand smoke. He wanted to scream at her, demand his baby back - but knowing Bazine, she had already worked out how she was going to manipulate this situation. He had to let her believe that she was the one in control, let her think she was guiding things. Ben didn’t care what he had to promise her so long as he got Hannalore back home and safe. 

She was off the rails. Knocking Rey out - that was low, even for Bazine. Stealing a baby she hadn’t seen in months? Well, Ben was hoping there was something the authorities could do about that. 

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” Bazine asked. 

“Don’t be smart. I know you took Hannalore,” Ben said. He pushed out of the foyer and into the warm and sunny afternoon. Forget his clothes - he has his wallet and keys and clothes can be replaced. He hails a taxi - heading for the airport - as Bazine chuckles.

“She’s gotten so  _ fat.  _ Your nanny must be over feeding her, Ben. Honestly, childhood obesity is a huge issue plaguing our country…” 

“Hannalore isn’t fat, she’s a baby,” Ben argued. “Where are you?”

“Like I would tell you. You aren’t getting her back.” Bazine sounded firm and Ben’s stomach twisted. “Unless…”

“Unless what?” 

“You agree to get rid of the nanny and work on our marriage. I think we can agree that things have gotten a bit off track,” Bazine purrs. A taxi pulled up to the curb and Ben hopped in, giving directions to the airport. “And you have to publicly apologize for being seen with that woman. Honestly, she’s not even that  _ cute _ Ben, I don’t know  _ what  _ you see in her. Though I suppose proximity counts for something.” 

Ben’s chest felt tight with panic as the taxi wove through traffic. He would  _ never  _ get back with Bazine - this little stunt only further cemented that point. But he would agree to whatever he needed in order to get Hannalore safely back in his arms. 

“All right, Bazine. Whatever you want. Where are you?” 


End file.
